I ache

I ache for a break that isn’t me bones
That comes with phoning home
When me mam was walking to the phone
To lift it up and speak to me

I ache for a break that isn’t a mistake
A blunder in the thunder of the rain-game
That touches the heart with a lift
A shift that doesn’t hurt

I ache for a break that isn’t me mind
That doesn’t unwind a time I fell
Tripped into the skip of my falling
A calling that isn’t on the outside

I ache for a break that isn’t lonesome
That doesn’t give some and take a lot
That fills me with wonderment
Under the moon, under the shine time.

I ache for a break that isn’t me heart
That doesn’t feel like a hammer
That moves me, not stuck in the groove
Not trapped in the hole
A whole me

I ache for a break that shifts,
that lifts and supports me
To a new understanding
That’s not me hand in hot water
That’s not me head in a block-shock
My yesterday haze
My nowness sadness
Leave me with a new gladness
A vision of light
Too bright to not be real
Too bright to not be