Last evening I had my first experience of detachment, I am very happy about it

Blog entry Saturday August 18, 2007 by Lulu

I was swimming in public pool two days ago, and wondering if I would ever get over all the trauma I had experienced on my path
It seemed the least little thing would set off all my fears
I said to my Higher Self, "I guess I will never get over it"

45 minutes later I had a huge fight with my husband
When my Higher Self was calming me down and comforting me, I said to my Higher Self, "the problem is I no longer believe your reassurances traumatic events will not reoccur
"there were promises in the past, and they did reoccur
"so now I don't believe your promises"

My Higher Self said "I'm very sorry you were put thru so much Annie, and I can understand you don't believe my promises now"

I totally believed there was no way my Higher Self could get me to believe a promise of reassurance now
And then to my absolute astonished amazement, my Higher Self succeeded
She didn't do it by trying to talk me into it, because by this point I wouldn't be talked into anything
She did it by pointing out a glaringly obvious thing I had overlooked
And I believed it!
Based on that I believed the reassurance
It was thrilling, I was stunned I had overlooked that thing, not seen it for what it was
But bringing it into focus for me, changed everything
I knew a path out of my trauma had opened up for me

Whether that was the cause of a change in me I noticed last evening, I don't know?
but doesn't it seem it would?
Because when my husband expressed loud emotions about not having an enjoyable evening
(started to rant and rave about his life)

For first time ever, my peace, happiness, and serenity held
I was actually detached from it
and I saw it in perspective
I did not react emotionally, I actually saw it as "no big deal"
and "he will calm down and get over it"

I used to be so upset at being at the mercy of his moods
but he had a bad mood last night, and it slid right off my back

I progress!!

Love, Lulu