08 Real Communication

How to communicate?

Here I need to explain first, what are the bases for real communication. Once you know yourself exactly and you know what you like and what you do not like, then the solution is easy. Explain to the other person exactly in great details what you like and what you don’t like. You tell to the other person all the emotions, feelings and thoughts behind your like/dislike.

I give an example: somebody doesn’t like that another person says no to him. So what is the action this person takes? I tell you, he will exactly behave in a way that he never will ask favors, because any negative answer would hurt him so much. Then the moment comes and he is some great need. What to do? He needs to ask somebody? And if they say no? Better not to ask! But then after hours of struggling he will call that person and ask. If a yes comes, the heart opens and he knows that he can rely on that friend. If no comes, it becomes difficult, then the analyzing starts. On and on and on…and you can imagine what a disastrous result you would have from such a behavior.

This is a story of a man who cuts himself out! Somebody who never asks, be aware; stay away from him! Then he will ask himself, why nobody wants me near them? Why nobody understands me?

Than the solution comes: COMMUNICATION

1. DO – OBSERVE – ANALIZE. After a certain action from your side, you stop and watch! What is the effect of that action on the others? Do they like you, after you did a certain action? Do they dislike you after you offered your “story” or are they indifferent about your action? When you are slow inside, you can observe the kind of “story” you are living in, and by observing attentively you can exactly know your problem in the “story”. Now you have to take time, a lot of time, to observe how you relate to other people. You know exactly how other people relate to you, but maybe you don’t know, how you relate to other people. You need to know, what is going on! A deep intellectual understanding about how you relate to people is the first step to integration. Take it easy and take your time, if you are in a busy place you shift to a quieter place. Analyze everything. Enjoy analyzing; it is natural and no effort is required. When you are looking at a situation from many different corners, then through thorough analyzing you come to a conclusion and this conclusion allows you to have discernment. If you do not analyze the situation is not clear and some other person can take over your Energy. The instruction is: you locate the disturbance in your Energy in relation to an object, animal or person. Once you found out the week point of the situation, then it is easy.

2. SOLUTION. Many times if you want something from another human you create an enormous story around it. You loose the essence. By playing with your problem, you change your pattern. For example: if you are a person, who cannot receive a "no" from another person, then you would change that behavior consciously. You would need something and quickly without hesitating you would ask the first person you see: “Can you please help me!” If you ask it with a question mark, people will refuse to do something for you. But if you ask with a full stop, then asking the favor becomes a command and what happen, if the other person believes in authority so much, that he is hopeless and cannot say no. He is hypnotized by your strait action. These words are coming out of your mouth with such a vibration, that nobody can refuse you any favor. Here is your solution; you discovered a new “story”, which works much better than the old one.

3. INTEGRATE. Once you discovered you “story”, you are hopeless, but only in the beginning. You know what you are doing wrong, but you don’t have the power to change it. Here the solution to that also: the rational left side of your brain is not able to produce a solution. What to do? Take help of the irrational right side!! When you are able to shift your focus from the left side of the brain to the right side of the brain, then much, much more solutions are available. Hundreds, Thousands of solutions, and you could not see them from your limited left side. I would not say to totally shut the left side down. No, big mistake! You need your left side for discernment. When something doesn’t feel right, then is the moment to let your left side take over. This side can handle the problem with much more focus. Too many solutions, which one to choose? You are stuck! Too many choices! It makes you unhappy. You become restless. So, here the moment to stop. Switch to the left and the solution is there on the spot. How this happen? The not good feeling I was writing just now. When this happen, than with a quick switch to the left side, you will say: NO, not like this! If the other person is playing some of his games, and this is what it is, than the NO coming from your side will make this person feel strange. What? With everybody my game works and why not with this person? You become of great interest for that person.

4. COMMUNICATE. Finally when you are doing this work, you use all your skills to communicate with others. You give the deepest feelings to others. Your feelings are never wrong! If you exactly can transfer a situation by explaining it as exact as you can. Be honest! Now you can explain exactly, that you really do not like it when somebody says no to you. This will make you weak. Maybe, but only in the beginning. Somebody will take advantage of the situation, because now they know your week point. You will sound strange to the average person, and that is because you are deeply honest. Who is really honest today? Everybody wants to hide their week points. But the moment you resonate with somebody and a connection is established; then miracles happen. Both of us are doing the same work; do – observe – analyze. And the moment you can exactly share and in the exact moment when it happens then you are blessed. You will laugh about such childish “stories”. When you are able to laugh at yourself and your “stories”, then you also make other people laugh. They see the absurdity of their own “stories” and just laugh. By laughing all together we integrate those “stories” naturally. If you know exactly the “story” of your partner, because she/he has told you, or because you found out, then you can make her/him to ask many favors to many people. When the action of asking becomes naturally, not contorted by hours of thinking, then unexpected reactions or negative answers from other people has no effect on your partner.

Here also another point; both, you and the partner/friends etc. have the same problem. It is because same problems attract same problems! You force your partner to face his/her problems, but be honest! Are you doing this to help your partner/friend/family member or are you asking her/him only because you do not want to face your own problems? Don’t become lazy, when I say to become slow. Find your balance between activity and rest. It’s very easy! The biggest secret is to be honest and go in all the details, in order that any misunderstanding is put out of the way. Another suggestion is: don’t argue, it brings you nowhere! Focus on yourself!

Take always examples from your own life. Newer hypothetical situations; it creates only intellectual speculations and brings you nowhere.

Here there are some notes to the text:

--- I followed my own instructions: “Do not put music when you work with your intellect.” It works, come and try!
--- Do you notice a difference between this text, coming from my left side and the previous that came from my right side? Before I always used to play music while writing.
--- All the all four steps I describe above can be done contemporaneously or in any combination. Please mix them as you like but don’t get confused.
--- Anyway the Solution comes naturally and also Integration happens naturally!
--- Be aware that the focus on right and left side of the brain is not an easy job. You need a lot of practice and as I will explain in chapter 11 this might be easier for the males rather than for females.
--- The most important is: BE AWARE ALWAYS. By practicing you become your master.
--- None of what I am writing today was planed. Really I did not have any idea, what will come out when I started with the title today.

21.06.06 the Centre of Light

19.07.07 After one year I know this my technique is working and I invite you all to experiment on this site with it. How you relate to others?