now i know what was going on..lol

you know i was feeling so full of scrambled energies this last two weeks, and always so tired and unable to concentrate..i thought it was just because i was going through a period of realisation and with all the increased sensitivity to energies - but i read about summer solstice (well, winter over here^^) and the effects it can have - and it explains everything that i was feeling!!! i wrote a thank you on the thread too, but thank you~! (sorry, i cant remember who it was that posted it...but thanks!!). since about yesterday, the scrambling - sort of like being in the middle of a sandstorm - has begun to subside and i can concentrate again!

i followed the advice on it about releasing negative energies and fears, as well as the epsom bath salts - im going to try that tonight and am really looking forward to it!

i also foudn crystals today, which i intuitively instantly felt would help me, especially with protecting myself. lots of people kindly advised me on how to deal with changing sensitivities and this was one of them. i found so many lovely crystals, some of which helped me immediately! i carry rose quartz around with me - my healer gave me some and i carry them around whereever i go, i cant let go of them lol. but today i found black tourmaline which protected me so well for the afternoon i carried it around; it even protects me from my parents bustly and invasive energy which i always have such trouble separating myself from! celestite, which just radiated beautifully to me; as well as white quartz which feels so powerful its quite intimidating; as well as obsidian, aventurine, jet and aquamarine. i love them all; i dont want to let them go~!heehe. my pockets are going to be so bulky from now on! lol!!

it looks like im going to go through another period of change, as the friends who gathered around me these last two months are all suddenly disappearing within the next month again...i guess that just means that im changing at a pretty fast pace, but it would be nice to have some friends that i could growth together with...after all if its a human experience we`re having, wouldnt making friends be part of that?? bleh, i suppose its all something that we contracted beforehand and what`s important is what we learn...

id quite like to know how i can begin earning some money though...i guess i have some kind of block regarding this because ive sort of been asking for more freedom with finances for a few weeks now, and i just seem to keep finding more things to buy! im even seeing money as energy, being much freer with it than i was brought up to be, which i find liberating...still, im too scared to look at my credit card statement lol...

speaking of free - i was walking around with the crystals in my pocket today, and it occured to me today that i have always been guarded without realising - perhaps partly becuase of nurture, but also because i dont see people around me acting lovingly and open to strangers as i would if i were completely free being me. i get the feeling that people would just get a bit scared or think i was plain mad if i acted too open! heehe, but perhaps ill get the courage to totally be myself around people^^
i tried a little version of it out today - actually i couldnt help myself; it was spontaneous blurting out lol. i was walking out of the library and a young mother and a little boy of about 2 maybe were walking ahead of me - he was still wobbling about a bit, and looked so cute - i had to walk up and compliment the cutie on what a good job of walking he was doing! that felt really good^^heehe!

thanks everyone always for your kind thoughts and words~!
lots of pink fluffy love energy going out your way~