The wild animal in me!

I feel on the verge of a big breakthrough but also frustrated because i sometimes feel like I have not been able to muster the energy or courage to truly let go of judgement and be true to how i really feel inside sometimes and what I really need beyond my sometimes censoring mind. I woke last night after a vivid dream and feeling totally connected with something powerful and sensual, sexual and wild in me and it felt good and I was beginning to explore it but there was my ego there to say, hang on what's this i havent really seen this before, best not let it out, it might not be good and its best to be safe and know you are good and whatever so i stopped the feelings from coming out and surpressesd how I was really feeling which just left me feeling disappointed but also determined for the next time an opportunity comes to let myself go with the feelings and stay out of what I think is appropriate or the right thing but to follow the feeling and let the energy move where it needs to go, last night i feel I stopped this from happening when there was an opportunity for a breakthrough and I do feel disappointed! Also scared that I missed a boat and that the opportunity won't come again, I hope it does and I am asking for support and for help showing me what I need to see. It's like last night was reflective of how I have rather stayed on the periphery in life where everything looks nice and appears right rather than really dive into life, roll my sleeves up and plunge them in to the juice of life, here I get to set the scene and control and appear, but it is relatively empty and unfulfilling. So bring on the opportunities for me to embrace and go into all of who I am the wild, free me so that my energy flows freely and I am expressing the authentic me.