Taking the puzzle appart and making a Mandala

I breathe in beautiful air. The Lotus cones. I wonder how natural they are.
It doesn't scare me.
Some people are uneasy.
It's weird how nobody ever wants to recognize my business mentality. I guess I am good at hiding myself.
When it comes to people who really work at jobs and at least make some moves towards changing it to something different it's ok, it's much better. They want to grow.
And it takes time to develop people. But it's hard after they don't have faith when corporate cat and mouse game (THE ONE THAT I DON'T LIKE THE MOST) messed them all up in the mentality. And than there is business people who are kind of cool. And nobody looks really good friends with their ego.
Everyone kind of like on a separate boat on a separate island in the universe.
I do have trust with people, it comes from values.
I've had such difficult experienes I even found it difficult to talk to new friends that are "girls".
Walking away from a shattered world. Waking up.
I want the ride to be smooth. Where there is harmony. Where my friends are confident in themselves and in the present, the future as well.
Somehow men are always the first to loose confidence. I wonder how I present myself. It's difficult, not that difficult. But I have a hard time focusing as if I've got ADHD.
No one can tell me what to do unless I choose so. It's like that with all indigos.
I keep reading the leadership book and wonder how it fits with indigos and often times something inside of there literally collides contradicts so much I can't read it.
And I know what to read and what to write and I feel happy.
I like my incredible tendency to get depressed and climb out of it with blue Phoenex bird lights glowing everywhere above the shore. Like I got ya! Like one of my godesses in the the tarrot deck with an oscar statue or something "Overcoming self doubt."
That's why people don't see me sometimes.
And I don't want to get depressed and I don't.
I want a safe environment. So I don't loose my ids and my social security card doesn't get stolen. I wonder what state of mind it is! Where there is equal distribution of energy and no one is trying to take away God.
I wonder what safe environemnt would be like.
For sure there would be a husband, in a fancy house, guests once in a while (small groups of people). Very abundant environment, not the one you can cling to and just be there. A kind of house you can live and travel around the globe. It's "cool". Really cool. Real.
I am kind of growing inside like this too. It's "a matter" of vision and feeling sometimes.
I am better at lifestyle now. I think, I believe it's important to speak about it. (With not charging a fee for it.) What if everybody got the lifestyle perspective?! How much and what will manifest!!!
I want to work with different people and they already appearing in my life. Stronger more positive people (I love everyone, it's a matter of allignment more.)
I love to speak.
And act too. Act in a different way. I am changing all around.
Writting this down is like a check point. It's like accounting, but the same and different.
I am different. I am unstoppable. I am happy. So as I see everyone growing happier with some sorts of degree in relaxation.