Cycles of Life

What is cycles of life? Would that be considered karma. Past deeds that need to be dealt with? How can one deal with if you don't know what you did? I've forgiven myself and others. Is this not enough? I sit in my room and cry inside. I can hear myself screaming.(agony and pain) I've read about the ego self;held up all kinds of numbers with my hands. Wondering what the heck is going on. How could one be born into karma? Did I agree to this. Sometimes I'm puzzled and then other days. I understand. (forgiveme) I feel like venting. Of course not on you all.just wanted a place where I know someone would understand. I feel like I can't talk to noone. I didnt even know what to name this blog.

When I close my eyes at night sometimes I feel like I can't breath. I have alump in my throat sometimes. Other times I see the sky and a bright beautiful light. Ascension symptoms are different for everyone. It seems like the tinyiest noise irritates the hell out of me. Coughing, people breathing heavy, cell phones( this probably irritates everybody). Just dumb things. Anxiety is the new thing that has popped up. Ears popping low tones and high pitches. Jumping in my sleep to the point where i startled my ownself. All this to realize im not even here.It seems like im in love with confusion. If this makes sense:(thanks for listening) Bless you my brothers and sisters.