Communicating and Listening

Hey there  : )     It's nice to see you.

How are you today ?  How was your weekend ?  How's the family ?  What's going on in your life ? 

How often are you asked those types of questions sincerely ?  And how often are your answers really heard and taken to heart ?  How often do others look you in the eye when speaking to you ?  How often are you greeted with a smile ?

Didn't know this was an essay did you ?  You have 15 minutes to turn in your answers.   : )

Having an education in Psyche and just being genuinely interested in human behavior, I've been inspired to write about the subject of communication and connecting with others.  Unfortunately, my observations have not been all that positive, at least not by my standards.  I think many of you will agree with what I am about to say, and if not, well then perhaps my standards are too high, and I am the odd ball  : )  This would not come as a surprise !

We all converse at some level, some more than others.  But I must admit, whereas a great conversation can be totally fullfilling, it can also be frustrating and draining, if not disheartening.  I am always looking for ways to be a better influence on the world.  In doing so, I figured I'd decide which of my coworkers I liked best and why, in order, to perhaps, learn some things in which to better myself.  What I discovered were simple traits.  But what was so astonishing, is that there was no one else like him at the time, including me.  So what did I like about this person so much ?

a. I was always greeted with great enthusiasm and a genuine smile.  
b. Particularly, starting a new week, before any work was discussed, I'd be asked how my weekend was and how the family was doing.
c. My responses were oftened followed up with more questions pertaining to the subject.  Instead of, that is, turning everything I said into something about him.
d. In a group, everyone was given equal eye contact.
e. I was never cut off mid sentence.

Now I understand, personality has a lot to do with our bedside manner and communication skills.  But I point these things out to simply say that, content alone will not win the hearts of others.  Infact, if anything, it's just the opposite.  The presentation is so much more powerful and influencial.  Being the spiritually minded people that we are, it is important to us, that our presence and message has the most positive impact possible.  But part of that, is making others feel important and that we really care.  It is real easy to dominate a conversation, as we are all 'know it alls' in something, right ?  ; )    It's real easy to turn the conversation back on ourselves, because, for some of us, 'we' are our greatest interest.  And eye contact, particularly in a group, shows level of comfort or the amount of respect the speaker has for his listeners.  Take notice sometime.  It's real obvious with some people.  But if your like me, you want all to feel equal, and therefore want to give everyone an equal amount of eye contact. 

I can't tell you how many conversations I've either been in or have observed that have just outright frustrated me, because people weren't actually acknowledging what the other one was saying.  Then you have those conversations where no one gets a complete sentence in, because everyone is cutting the other one off.  It's simple people...be a good listener.  Show you're actually listening by asking questions, instead of turning the conversation back on yourself.  Look at a person when speaking to them.  You may not realize how condensending some gestures, or lack of gestures can be.  Figure out how you want someone to listen to you.  Then be that listener.  A smile and a sign of personal interest can go a long way in being a positive energy and influence.  And that is what we all strive to be, isn't it ?

So I leave you by saying...shut up !  (once in a while)   and just listen   : )

Love to you all.  Shine on you crazy Diamonds.

~DolphinSmile : )