I think I am in love...

Oh, so I am partially back.

My life has been chaotic in the past few weeks. My heart is aching so much over the changes. I feel very lost, so does my family, but we plan to rise above the problems.

Something very weird has happened. I've been in touch with an ex boyfriend, from 7 years ago. We split up because I moved to Canada. Then we went on with our lives, but throughout the years, he has kept in touch.

He has become such an amazing man... a musician, an artist, and he understands me very well. We live in different cities (ah the joy!), and there is a little hiccup... he has a girlfriend.

But what I've come to realize is that my past ex resembles this man a lot, but there are enormous differences between the two of them.

He has been reading my blog on myspace, and he understands so well everything... I was thinking about him on Easter saturday, because 7 years ago we spent that day together here in my house with my family, and we had a blast.

And funny enough, last year, same day, my most recent ex and me became a couple... and we did almost the same that I did 8 years ago...

So, it was Saturday, and I was remembering Carlos. And I was wishing he would somehow call me or e-mail me... although I hadn't given him my cell to send me an sms... I couldn't stop thinking about him... and it turns out he was in the area that day, and he wanted to send me an sms but didn't have my number...

We seem to have connected on a soul level, but this I haven't told him. And he seems like such a great person to be with... and he has showed me, by bits, he loves me very much, but I don't know if more than a friend.... and I feel so understood by him... and I can't stop thinking about him...

Crazy, huh?

In an ideal world, maybe he would be the man I could settle with. Yet it seems so impossible right now... and I am not even sure that this that I am feeling is just a great need of love... I certainly wouldn't want to hurt him... nor his gf...

Oh what a mess...

We'll see what happens...

I am so grateful that I can let this out here... I haven't told anyone about this, and it presses my chest...

Thank you for reading...
Love,
Aida.