Enjoy The Ride On The Cosmic Rollercoaster

Holy Shit! What's up with the Cosmos lately?? Ever since May 2007, my life has turned up side down or has it been right side Up and I just can't see it yet? Many people are celebrating their resurrection this weekend. Rise Up! I'm nailed to the cross. The crosses we bear. Get me off this cosmic rollercoaster. I am going to puke. The Universe has caused me to re-think just about everything in my life, unfortunately not so lovingly:(. Last May, I felt lost and was ready for something new. By August, I was ready to give up the path. I wanted to be normal, sleeping. I wanted out of the Matrix. Neo can have it. The gruel sucks! I was forced to look at all my Ego-spiritual creations. I left one egotistical world for another. Fame, success, being special and different under the guise of spiriutal awakening. Still Ego. E-GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I took 2 months off and travelled through the U.S. I went to Burning Man Festival. My life changed but was it for the better? When I got home, I almost went bankrupt. I was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. I was fine. I pulled through. I pulled it off. Where was I going? What was happening to me? I made it to Christmas. I almost went bankrupt - again. I tried to get a "real" job. I went to a job interview with a V.P of Commmunications for a charity. I thought I'd be a perfect fit for them. When I arrived, I was shocked when she told me that the position was already filled (huh??) but she had heard about me and wanted to meet the Angel Lady of Ottawa. Nice re-direct Universe. I get it. I am in the right place. Now cough up the cash I need to live and en-joy. I am not sure I have en - joyed much. Burning Man was fun. Hawaii was fun. Dancing, surf, sand, travel is fun. This all costs money. Show me the money. Show me. Show me how to allow it happen through me and to me for myself and others. I pulled out Jan and Feb. Thank you God. Phew! March hasnt been so good -- yet! I hope. Hope floats. When will it get better? Two weeks ago, I had $400 in my bank account. I cried. I laughed. It's only money. Show me the money! I drove my car into a wall - by accident - I could have sworn the wall moved - seriously - I think I drove through a portal - I was fine, the car was not. I caused $2000 damage. I cried. I laughed. It's only a car. At this point, what else could I do. I pray. I forgive. I release. I ground. Ground! Mother, why have you forsaken me? Where are you Mother? One week later, there was a crack in the dining room ceiling because of the heavy snow. The roof shifted and the house was deemed unsafe. We had to unexpectedly evacuate and move into a hotel. SHIFT HAPPENS! No shit! Enough already! I'm done. Done like dinner. The insurance is paying for everything. The house is safe. We are safe. Thank you God. I cried as I packed up my things. I laughed. It's only a house. I bless this and call it good. Where's the Laughing Buddha when you need him? I am suffering. I am reading Eckhart Tolle's book. Where was he 7 years ago? "May I now have all the love I needed today and yesterday but did not receive." I am love. I am light. I am awake. I am aware. I am love incarnate. All you need is Love. Where is the love?? I call upon the Law of Divine Restoration to restore to me now all my lost good of past and present. I know that somewhere, somehow, someday soon that God will restore to me NOW all my lost good of past and present in God's Loving and Wise Way. I joyfully receive this now. I allow all the Good God wants for me. I claim this as a time of divine fulfillment now. Thank you! (This is a prosperity prayer by Catherine Ponder)...is anybody listening up there? Is there anybody out there?? I need proof. I need results. I need help now. I choose another experience. I claim joy, peace, prosperity, security, creativity, freedom, fun, harmony, passion and purpose as mine today! Bring it! Take me to the beginning of this discord, from my point of origin all the way into infinity and on all levels of reality and eradicate all human discord its cause and effect transmuting instantly into love for all concerned parties and all parts of myself, known or unknown, seen or unseen, conscious or unconscious, real or imagined. And this is so. I ask that all parts that are not-love be released and filled in with love for us all. Set us free. Set me free why don't you babe? I am love incarnate. I am love. I am light. I am free. My path is clear. And this is so. Get me off this ride. I should stick to the ferris wheel. The wheel of life. The wheel of fortune. I am fortune -ate. Peace to you my brothers and sisters of light. Enjoy the ride!