Introductions and New Beginnings

Greetings light workers,
I figured I'd start out by writing a plain and simple entry to explain a little about myself.
I really enjoy writing as a form of self expression. (although I've had a bit of a creative block lately)
I'm a very passionate and intense person by nature, though frequently dry and sarcastic on the surface. (and often misunderstood as a result. Most people tend to see me as an asshole or an arrogant prick, but those people just don't seem to understand the concept of layered conversations and multi level thinking)
I've only considered myself a spiritual person in very recent years, I was incredibly depressed through most of my life and blocked off to it. Only after coming out of that shell did I start to see the connections and intertwining of our universe.
I try my hardest to be open minded, although we all have our conditionings that we struggle with. few people are born and remain pure. Still, I exert great mental effort to maintain as objective a view on things as I can, especially myself.
I realize that nothing is true and so is everything, and as such I try to stay as neutral as I can.
I guess you could call me a bit of an agnostic in that sense, although I do have faith in a "god" energy

So, anyways basically why I'm here is because I live in a place devoid of many spiritual people, atleast i havent tapped into the local spirit community, or one that resonates with me.
I believe that while almost every spiritual journey is a very esoteric and inner experience, guidance and teachers and help are absolutely crucial to spiritual growth. I need to learn. I need to learn in an open environment without fear of retribution or judgements.
I want to find teachers, and take what they can give me, and heal myself with it, so I can go back to helping my world without feeling so drained.

I am very helpful by nature. I have an overwhelming urge to fix things and help people, (in a more mental/spirit sense, though thats not to say I won't help anyone physically either). I think I'm an indigo, although I won't say I am for sure, because I believe in open minded skepticism of all things. (when I say skepticism I don't mean doubt. let me make that very clear, I mean intelligent discernment of the viability of a concept, as well as the intentions of the one teaching it)
yes I realize that can be a barrier to spiritual growth, as it tends to require a certain level of blind faith, but I am not ready for blind faith yet, because I have not learned enough to let myself plummet chaotically into this universe

I do not meditate frequently, though I always benefit from it and know very well that I /should/ do it daily.
I have procrastination and focusing problems. I've never done homework in school, tend to not clean my room or organize my belongings often etc. (which is both good and bad, bad in a western "producing and consuming" type perspective of life, but good in the sense that I gain a lot of insight through my nature of pondering things). I don't think I have found a form of meditation that really and truly clicks with me yet, because my brain is so hyperactive that I find it difficult to silence it and focus (or not focus, depending on how you look at it) on meditation.
If anyone else has this sort of problem or feels they have an idea, by all means say something.

One thing that I do quite often that I find to be a very spiritually uplifting process is cooking.
I'm a passionate cook and I love experimenting and trying new things. I'm a fan of any and all cuisines so if anyone else has an obsession with food or cooking, and would like to talk, share recipes, or anything then I demand (slash humbly request) that we converse. I don't have many people in my life other than my mother who share my love and curiosity of food and all things cooking, but I absolutely love talking about it and sharing methods and ideas. I think I drive my girlfriend nuts sometimes when I go on about what food I made for dinner, because she doesn't cook.

hmmm... I'm sure there are boundless other things that I intended to put in here, but I guess thats about the jist of it.
I'm still not sure to what extent I will use this website and for what purposes, but I do enjoy writing to express my emotions, and will probably at very least transfer my energy over here, since this seems like a much more suitable environment for my personality and mindset.
Thank you all for the multitude of welcomings and greetings. I was absolutely floored at how many strangers said something to me. I'm not used to that kind of response from anything I do. (most people who know me tend to ignore me because im usually being ridiculous :P) It was overwhelming, but in a good way. Thanks for the openness and kind gestures to everyone, and I hope I can find what I'm looking for, (or even better something I'm not) in my time here.