Spirituality and Control

I posted this question in another Spiritual Listserv I belong to, but wanted your feedback on this subject as well. In the past six months, I met several people who are
both indigos or very spiritually evolved which has been great learning opportunities for me.

During this time, I was briefly romantically interested in two
men whom I believe were either indigos or very spiritually aware.
They were insightful, kind, respectful, intelligent, funny, intuitive
and knowledgeable about spiritual matters. At the same time, they
seemed to have the need to establish control over our interactions
and insisted I should not be expect them to 'follow social norms'
For instance, the one used this reasoning when trying to dismiss my
reservations about becoming emotionally or physically intimacy too
quickly. The second person was fine as long as he directed the
subject-matter of our (enlightening) conversations. We met randomly
one day (he was on vacation) and really seemed to click.
Afterwards, we sporadically kept in touch (he lives in another time
zone). In our last conversation, he told me was not attracted to me
like I was to him when we first met and he was in love with someone
else. In response, I suggested we might try being friends and he
became very uncomfortable and angry because I was
putting `obligations on him.'

When approaching any of my relationships, my highest goal is to
practice the golden rule and establish a balance of give and take
which benefits both people. If this cannot be done, I feel it is
best to let the person go and wish them well (Granted, this can very
difficult. We are human after all). Since both men consider themselves spiritual
people, I thought their attitude toward friendship and relationships would be similar to
mine. Instead, these men used their spirituality as a
way to validate and justify their very human, ego-driven behavior
through control and manipulation. (As a note: I am not ruling out the possibility
my own faults and issues also resulted in the outcomes of both
situations. Also, I know now I would not be compatible with either
of these people in the long-term). I thought being more spiritually
aware they would be kinder and compassionate in their interactions with
people even if it meant putting off instant gratification or
rejecting someone with diplomacy.

Is it possible `spiritual people' losing their humanity as they
evolve? I don't think this is the case here. I think my experiences
shows that we are all dealing with human issue at whatever `spiritual
level' we find ourselves on.

One last thought: I am grateful for meeting both men and
learn/ change my life from my involvement with them. One truth I
have learned is often there is the universe/God/ higher power knows
best. Sometimes people come into your life, but not for the reasons
you first thought- which can be a blessing.

Cheers!
S