A christian spiritual church

I understand that there may be christian members here,therefore before i start,it isnt my intention to offend any religion,and if i manage to,i deeply apologise.
I love the beautiful souls that come here,and now that i have a problem to work over,i knew i would get help from the lovely ppl here.

Through a strange string of events,i found a spiritualist church,very close to were i live. I grew up in this area,an i never knew the church was there until recently. I know im meant to go to this church to further evolve myself.and advance my mission,i can sense that deeply.

Their website was lovely and seemed to be along the path of my thinking and beliefs. Having gone there,things are different. They talk of a loving non judging creator presence,which i believe,then they make the ppl that come sing hymns.. To me a contradiction. Because their trying to merge christianity with healing and mediumship etc,its all conflicting. The mediums and clairvoiants that visit the church,are nervous and unconfident. And theres a general aura of guilty children waiting to be caught,judged and punished. Im drained and disheartend everytime i come home.

I havent gone for the past 3wks as i feel my gifts and the way i think would frighten and get negative reactions from the members of the church. And if i may be honest? Finding out after going, that it was a christian spiritualist church,turned me off. Iv been thinking about this deeply,an iv realised my own negative experience with christianity in childhood,has made me not like how they think very much. I realise that releasing that is important. And i think that is one way i evolve. Although my gifts are strong,i lack confidence using them face to face,an i feel its also a opportunity to gain confidence using my gifts in a face to face situation. An lastly i sense that the next door to continue my mission is through going to this church.

My problem is how to approach this,and retain myself and my individuality. The healing group there,has maybe 6 healers,an the all do exactly the same thing like robots. When i asked if i could join,i was told that i would have to watch every wensday for a year before id even be considered. An that i should also be told by a medium 3 times that im a healer,so that they know im ordained by God.. My jaw nearly hit the floor lol. I certainly dont need a stranger to ordain me when iv been healing and guiding for most of my life. As you can see im very conflicted about this,i feel my angels and guides pulling me to go,but i dont know how to cope with the church and its ways.. Im due to go again tonight,any thoughts would be greatly appriciated.

Love and light.

MysticAngel.xx