New Dimensions

I intend to start somewhere...this place this time this is a new chapter in the novel of my life. A new stage of my ascending roc8.

This life stream has issued me some amazing challenges and yet I AM! There is a place inside me that I know and yet do not understand. A source of energy that I feel and yet cannot touch? How is it I seek that which I can not touch or understand?

Yet this Source burns inside of me with the intensity of a million Suns. It guides me gently and drags me kicking and screaming to a destination that I have not identified.

It's like trying to capture a certain drop of water in the ocean or a single grain of sand upon the beach. Search though I may it continues to elude me. Of course I know I'm looking to hard for what I know to be within me....forest...trees...

This life stream has lead me to a deep fear of that which I love....other people/beings. On a very deep level my heart aches for Love, Companionship and sharing...yet the walls I have built contain windows to further my longing to see but not touch...or share.

Finding balance or unity is difficult. Yet this force inside of me drives me like lava to the sea. Burning hot and fluid only to be turned to stone.

I have words and images in my mind that will not pass my lips. I question everything especially my sanity lately. I have such great fear that that which I dare to dream is only an illusion...this life stream has taught me to be very humble. I have been conditioned to not dream above my pay grade! How to reconcile?

People around me cannot 'see' me. I have been unable to 'open' to anyone it seems for my entire life. Family members & friends that I do try to share with look at me with glazed eyes and seem to avoid these conversations. I have begun referring to myself as a 'Lunatic' with my children to try to keep things light hearted. My desire to share gets diminished..

These difficulties try to colour my Light and diminish my Love. I of course know that nothing can ever extinguish the Source within me.

I feel like a man alone in the wilderness of a sea of people...I feel like a Sun in the moments before it goes SuperNova...:):)

My mind tells me I have searched for and found this place (lightworkers.org)but I know better!!! Somehow I know 'home' is nearby and yet I do not recognize the place since the remodel..:) Or is it my dark glasses?

I feel better that I have told the universe and YOU my feelings...

Thank you (Emmanuel???) for this place...my love and light to you and all that are connected here.

I intend to give and receive every blessing of Love & Light possible in this place of Life...

Thank you to everyone that has welcomed me with open arms...it's taking me some adjustment to accept all that is being offered. I Am just not used to other beings offering me such enormous gifts freely...

Sometimes when you loose you WIN!!!!

I come here to join with my brothers and sisters of LIGHT. I come here as a humble student so that I may become a better teacher.

I Open my heart to you. I have much to learn...

I have launched my roc8 to my next dimensional destination...

I AM NPhN8 in Love of Creation