Everything

I've been on a mad search for knowledge for years now. I have always loved science. I've been interested in Nikola Tesla for a long time. He along with so much more led me to the belief that our minds are very strong and powerful things. I had no idea what sort of power that was but I knew it was there. I had a very average upbringing that did not include anythging metaphysical in nature. My world was very ego centric for a long time. Though I was always a nice person and extended kindness I was not always genuine in my behavior. It took for me to turn 40 to start paying real attention to this and ask that very real question ~ what's it all mean? I started cracking open books and meeting people and watching documentaries, learning from every angle to understand that the meaning is everything. It is the ultimate idea of creation and information and LOVE. I'm still so far from knowing myself and what I'm capable of doing to help. I only began to meditate at the urging of a friend a few months ago. I will say even in that short time it has changed me. I used to have panic attacks for years. That fear is completely gone now. I feel a love for this planet and everything on it like I have never known before. I wonder if something electric isn't happening around us. If someone as sleepy as me could be nudged awake something big must be on the horizon. Are you all getting that same message...possibly even more clear than me?