silence...

The past few years in my world I have noticed quite a few changes in myself..  The change I'd like to talk about today regards silence..  I've noticed you have a choice in your life regarding silence & this I've summed up in a small insight or proverb "You can either fill the silence in your life or you can let the silence fill you"..  I noticed the other day after observing old friends who had come back into my present world.  I just noticed & became aware of how occupied their minds were & how they couldn't seem to sit still.  I've also noticed & found myself feeling a little fragmented or all over the place when I've been in the situation of being surrounded by old friends & all this just got me a wandering & a pondering...

It's not that there's anything wrong with any of these wonderful people it's just merely an observation that has triggered some old memories of myself from the past..  I guess it seems that I was hell bent on filling the silence in my life a few years ago with all sorts of things, constantly surrounded by people & submerged in all types of things, socializing, music, alcohol, dramas, interference, desires, intoxicants, anything & everything as I now see to then occupy my mind, anything & everything as I now understand it to fill the silence in my world...

I notice this resemblance from my past self a lot in people today, especially when I'm in crowded mainstream places like: shopping malls, supermarkets, city centre's or when I'm in busy queue's or on public transport.  People seem almost scared of the silence, as if something terrible would happen if it all just suddenly went still & silent.  I can entirely relate to this from the past version of me & in fact they are absolutely right something terrible probably would happen at least to their ego's anyway..  They may suddenly find themselves content with nothing, absolutely nothing with no outside interference at all, they may find that they are not slaves to their minds, technologies or entertainment, they may find that everything is perfect just the way it is with no need to change anything at all, they may find in letting the silence fill them that they suddenly feel whole again, they may find that silence is the most precious thing they have ever found in their lives with no need to purchase, save up or buy anything it was just simply always there patiently waiting for them in abundance for free...  

Now that's truly priceless....  

Truly the magic of life, you spend the whole time running around searching outside of yourself trying to fill this void, this vast emptiness with all sorts of things only to find you didn't have to fill it at all..  All you had to do was nothing, just accept the divine nothingness & embrace the silence for what it is...

So beautiful, so simple, so free...

Silence is indeed golden you might say...


I have found in my life silence can indeed be a struggle but only because of my mind/ego..  My mind/ego doesn't seem to like silence & almost seems scared of it at times..  Through silence I have found there is so much more to life than filling it because once you let the silence fill you then indeed you become full, you become one with everything...

Full of what you may ask...

Well the answer to that one is so very elegant, mysterious & infinitely simple..  
You become full of nothingness, nothing-ness, no-thing-ness, just quite simply & elegantly full of stillness, space, silence..  That is the beauty & infinite wonder of it all just the absolute subtle simplicity of it...  


*also to clarify.....

The reason I have come to understand that I sometimes feel fragmented or all over the place when surrounded by old friends is that I end up re-enacting my old self to accommodate the reality that I feel is being projected upon me.  This I believe is entirely my own fault because the reality that I feel that is being projected upon me is being projected by myself..  I've noticed that my mind would like to believe that is solely someone outside of myself that is projecting the reality upon me but that is simply not true.. You see this is all still quite new to me & I am still getting to grips with how it all works at least this my present version anyway...

I realise that I have changed in the past few years probably quite a lot & I am still coming to terms with it all & this I believe is what is making me feel fragmented.  You see because I'm still growing & haven't fully accepted the new version of me either have some of the people that I know, usually the people I know from the past.  The people that I have met in recent years have been at most fully accepting of the new version of me (maybe that is simply because it is the only version they have known).  So as it seems as with everything it is entirely & always up to me..


I've found in life that "ultimately it is never anything outside of yourself that causes any of the problems or suffering in your life, the problem or suffering always arises & comes from within" & "The world you see around you is a reflection of the world that lives inside"

So as it turns out my mind may like to think that it is the people outside of myself that are causing me to feel fragmented or all over the place but in reality it is always & entirely myself.  It looks like the answer for me is to fully accept & express myself always & then my world will indeed harmoniously reflect that...  

I'm so glad to have come to this understanding because it has confused me for quite a while..  I love my friends dearly & it has been quite a struggle journeying down seemingly separate paths.  I was in the mind that in my recent changes that they just didn't understand me but now I realise that that doesn't seem quite the case for it was me along along, it was me that didn't understand myself...

Now isn't that just wonderful, I love it when these thoughts bring clarity into my world I do so sincerely hope they bring some into yours...