6) What Do Women Want? Interpretation #2 of The Legend of Sir Gawain and the Hag Ragnell "Spell Words and Integrity."

We continue with this story's interpretation by Angeles Arrien and my own contributions. Here we address the importance of eliminating "spell words." Also, the second important ingredient in a relationship is "integrity." Jurgen W. Kremer tells us in his essay, "Mind On Fire," that:

". . . 'integrity' is defined by the way individuals behave in relation to their values and other internal experiences. This congruence[, this coming together in agreement,] this reconciliation is valued as long as it is consistent with the general spectrum of values and experiences espoused [or publicly stated] by the culture. Individuals are regarded highly when their integrity--their personal values and beliefs--cannot be compromised in situations where pressure arises for some form of action inconsistent with their convictions. Integrity is associated with strong individuals who live by their values, even when challenged, and who have a convincing way of making them transparent. . . . I suppose integrity can always be ideologically misguided; insufficient analysis and thoughtfulness, lack of awareness, and incomplete information can led us to a stance of integrity that, in retrospect, is problematic. History--the telling of past events primarily by male scholars--has a way of evaluating events differently at various times of recounting the story [of our lives and the universe in which we live]" (Kremer: 45, 1997).

The character of Sir Gawain in this story represents this kind of integrity. He kept his knightly word. That is, he aligned his words and his actions. We must ask ourselves in relationships are we able to align our words with our actions? Are we in other words able to have integrity, which is the alignment of mind, heart and action? Sir Gawain is the image of this kind of integrity, of who we are and who we want to be.

The character of the witch or the Hag Ragnell is an interesting creature that lives in all of us, whether we are male or female. Her character represents that part of our self in relationships that we "cast under a spell." The parts of ourselves that in relationship with others we perceive as grotesque, undesirable or unworthy of love and respect; those parts of our relationships with others that we find difficult to deal with. Likewise this includes the other parts of ourselves that we cast under a spell, which grow to be undesirable, and that take on the characteristics of ugliness. These parts of our personality are relentless in seeking out the integrity of others, because these unloved and unworthy aspects of our personality know that when they find a basis of integrity we will be set free.

In other words, the spell that we have placed upon our self will be broken. That is why the witch sought out Sir Gawain, because she knew that she would be set free; because it is our integrity that always overlooks appearances and stays with the issue. Now regarding spell words, all of us cast parts of ourselves under a spell in relationships, and in dealing with others in the world. Spell words are: "Can't," "wish-I'd-a," and "someday I'll."

The "black knight," Sir Gromer Somer Jewer, represents the character associated with the "king of the forest" who is another aspect of our personality and in our relationships. his too is another part of our character formation that lives within each of us, whether we are female or male. The "king of the forest" or "black knight" is the demanding part of our self that sets up unreasonable requests in relationships. This kind of character formation is represented in sayings like: "seven days or else." It is that part of our self that sets up nonnegotiable terms in relationships. Or is so demanding that the demand can never be realistically met, except in the rarest of circumstances. All of us have within us this demanding "king of the forest," which goes something like this: "Well, I'll give it three months and if you don't shape up then I'm out-a-here." (To be continued in blog #7).

Reference
Jurgen W. Kremer. (1997). "Mind On Fire." ReVision, 19 )3), Winter, 42-48.

See also Angeles Arrien. (1991). "Power of Love In Relationships." Boulder, CO: Sounds Recordings. Much of this interpretation is available on this CD, although I have added the reference by Kremer and added revisions to some of the sentence structure.

See also Angeles Arrien. (1992). "Signs of Life: The Five Universal Shapes and How to Use Them." Sonoma, CA: Arcus Publishing Company.