Nervous is what I am...

I am so nervous... tomorrow I have a job interview in another state... and the reason why I am nervous is because I don't want to go... I have to get up early... and drive three hours or so... my brother is coming with me, so I am thankful for that.
I am nervous too because I found a more compatible job (maybe paying less) in a city near my home... so maybe I could still stay... but I am not sure of that either.

I feel so so so tired! And nervous!!

But I am letting go and trusting spirit...

Now, on other matters... I did something kind of silly yesterday. Before going home, I decided to google me, on images. Then I googled an ex-bf. And I found a recent image of him (he is german and plays handball). I found out he lives in another city... and he looks just the same than 4 years ago. Identical!!

I felt a lot of pain... I thought I was completely over him... but I started remembering so many things... it feels like a different lifetime, or someone elses' story... you see, since I have become a lightworker my life has changed so much... I have changed so much... and he looks the same!! And I remember who I used to be, and I find myself now with all this bunch of problems, feeling lonely and so tired... and there he was, smiling, so beautiful...

I understand what ifs don't exist... yet, I wonder what would have happened if it had gone well with him... I would be married now, probably with a child... I kind of "miss" that alternate reality, missed him, in spite of the ugly things he did at the end (ah, massochism, good friend of mine LOL).

I guess that that alternate reality looks better than mine because of the shitty year I had (2007). And the royal mess I seem to be at in times.

I'm very tired... I am gonna go home now and get some rest... I have a huge day ahead of me tomorrow.

Wish me luck, please!!

Love to you all,
Aida.