Have you ever woke from a nightmere and feel like you're still in it?

The forboading feeling is horrible. I know most of my dreams and their meanings. I well know the difference between visions and subconscious delimas surfacing in my rim time.
Sometimes I am so passive and patient people walk all over me. It seems like I allow it until I get angry and dispite my nightmeres for the 3rd time this week...I'm just NOT going to act while I am angry. I thank Love for recognizing the anger in myself.
It's because I froze again last night and still as I write. I'm still using a tiny electric heater with an extention chord strubg from the lodge next door. Ratna Ling also donated a hot water heater last week but I still have no hot water. I mean, I paid these guys over $2,000.00 3 weeks ago which included gas for heat and hot water cable and internet. The only reason I have this net access is because I brought a router and bought the internet chord to reach the lodge here.
In my dreams I'm pounding on the landlords door screaming how unfair it is he make us suffer like this and I can feel my anger! When I looked at the clock and it was 11am and I was still too cold to get up and go to the bathroom I felt like I was still in my dream. I couldn't shake my anger. YUCK!!!!
I know the logic of my dreams which I think I said enough about for you to get the jest of them. I need to be more acertive in a loving way. Speak my mind in love and not anger. So instead of writing an angry email or letter or pounding on his door, I told my son to warn him I was going to and he really didn't want his neglegence to be a matter of record...
These dreams of my hidden anger and frustration made me realize That I'm not bad for feeling that way....I think hurt, anger and frustration are natural reactions in a human. It's not the feeling of these things that makes a person 'sin against himself and others' if you will, but rather what you say and do while your in an altered angry state of mind.
So I decided instead of sounding like the spoiled little girl in labyrinth that kept spouting 'it's not fair!!' or using these circumstances to vent my anger wther justified or not...I open my heart in love to pray for my landlord this morning. I pray he has foresight and strength if he is not well to put out the effort to correct these sufferable living conditions. I pray love calm the ager in me that I may see through love's patient endurance.
hee hee hee...it hasn't even been 5 minutes and I was just informed that the landlord did get the email I politely wrote him on Monday that he never responded to. He has been ill from ear infections but he did get my email and he promises to look at the gas situation today. Of coarse it's already 3:30pm and it will be dark here in the canyon in half an hour, so I don't really expect anything to be accomplished. He said the same thing two weeks ago...before he got ill. But it's all good I suppose. Just knowing he is once again aware of the situation gives me hope. I'm glad I didn't say or do anything while I was mad. I hope it's resolved soon cause I so don't like feeling so cranky! I was very 'short' with my son, his x and Tommy his other homeless friend that is in the same situation in alot of ways as my son. Amanda had such a negative attitude about going to NA [narcidic annon.] that I spouted out 'Oh no, if you stay here you will go to meetings and actively participate in recovery like everyone elce!' Not that what I said was wrong, it was the way I said it because I was cranky. It made the air in here so thick you could cut it with a knife. I caught it and shut my mouth until the ugly emotion that shot my blood preasure up subcided and amended the attitude in the air with positiveness...This morning she said she would go to a meeting tonight.
Isn't it funny when your cranky how one gets over sencitive or over reacts to things that would not normally bugs you so much. Little dumb things. Today is day four Amanda home with her dog...which Im alergic too and keeps my cat gone! aww the little things that are really nothing in a grander scale..silly me.
hahaha well lol! Please be patience, Love is not finished with me yet. It is alot easier to work on my shortcomings when I can clearly see them lol! and dispite my cranky disposition I refuse to let it rule or controll my heart! I just simply refuse to be miserable this day hahahaha so be it.
Thank you for letting me share, and not judging me. Forgive me my unloving behaviour. I send you my joy and wish each of you well my beloved friends of light.thank you for being you.