Beyond the Planck Barrier: on cycling through the energy

from a comment on energy, or lack thereof

I, too have had bouts of psychic vertigo in these new times. My body seems to be forcing me with various circumstances to simply shut down, to cycle through the energy and simply be 'still' for a week each month, something I rarely am, either physically or mentally. First a "flu" then "food" poisoning on New Year's day (how's that for a nurturing metaphor) or I dread or am seriously irritated about being in a world where to talk of my experience is looked at as looneytoones.

Yesterday i wrote to a friend.....

My day is winding to a close, it's excruciating these days, feeling 'twixt and 'tween, trying to find the alleged Taurian patience, trying to find a still point; today I was not successful in that search and irritation with stasis overcame me.

I loved your poetry. My work has always come in fits and starts, poppin' out full-blown like Saturn's children. Never seems to be time to lovingly birth and nurture, just simply trust that the internal gestation is sufficient to give them their landlegs. Perhaps it's only my movement into the Crone that fuels my desire to find a hollow in the woods, or atop a mountain surrounded by green, or engulfed by a New Mexico sky away from this god-awful din of inanity.

I work as an in-house designer for an old Atlanta furniture store. There are days-today-when thrice gilded lilies are too plain for the folks who ask for me to decipher their taste through my eyes.
I want to rave, "dial it back, find the beauty in simply "being ", these roccocoberserk displays of ostentation are just clouding your true path, be still- let one step follow the other, Babel, Babel, tower crashes!"

I recently read two books, Shade by Neil Jordan and Specimen Days, Michael Cunningham. Both authors created images for my soul to revel in, to wander, in wonder in amazement at the complex refractions of our souls. I have found their images in technicolor glory appear complete in my dreams and I know the true spirit of our collective unconscious is guiding me Home.

But for now, my psyche doesn't seem to have a place to land in this world i currently call home. I can only trust my soul knows how to navigate these choppy waters, so should you,

Blessed BE,
Toni