Write yourself a Love Letter

As most of you, I’ve been going through ups and downs in this natural roller coaster ride that the Ascension process ends up to be. As recently as 15 months ago, I had never heard the word Ascension, never heard anything about Ascended Masters, Mer-ka-ba, chakras, meditation, etc. Oh, actually, I did for some of them, but acknowledged them as being for weirdos or plain and simple manipulation techniques by yet even more religions and/or sects. Well nothing like the actual internal process to turn on your awareness and sure enough, to re-evaluate your belief systems on pretty much everything.

We are experiencing an unthinkable expansion within, that can make us taste the purest nectar of Heaven and a few hours later, the darkest pits of Hell. Or light and dark. Or total Union or total separation. Hope, Despair. Joy, Suffering. Plus, minus. All right Francis, stop it, we get it.

Depending on which minute you talk to me, I might feel like the densest person on the planet, sad and heavy, or the most joyous and confident one. That sensation is now widely experienced by fellow Lightworkers in our community. We are all living synchronistic wave surfing. Some have actually already finished that roller coaster balancing, that inner cleansing; they have done the work a little earlier, and that’s great. Others have not yet started the internal shifts and that’s also great, for they will have more and more support and answers when the real clearing starts.

Yesterday, I really plunged into acute sadness and despair. Black clouds, blocking my light. So I stepped outside to go for a walk, and began breathing. I tried to focus on all of the advices of all the wonderful people here that helped me when I was in panic attacks or when feeling ultra-vulnerable. Slowly, I was able to calm down. And then came a beautiful insight that I’d like to share with you.

I know what types of “monsters”, or grids, or chains I have to battle within… I know because I’m the one who built them hehehe! Guilt. Shame. Unworthiness. All that stuff that keeps your head down. So that inspiration, which truly came from my spiritual team, suggested that I should write myself a love letter! At that precise second, tears of joy started rolling on my cheeks and I knew it was an amazing idea.

Okay, so I arrived at a library, put on my discman to elf-like music (Sigur Ros) and took a few breaths to calm myself as much as I could. I’m telling you friends, it was such an empowering exercise, because it turned out to be more than just a release technique. It was battle too. For at first, I wanted to love myself, but my pen was resisting a little bit, kind of like saying “Oh, would you stop flattering yourself” or “you’re just a show-off now” or “this is ridiculous, it’s just fantasy”. But as I continued to shut down these thoughts that were now obviously coming from my old grids, more and more truth and beauty came out. Even my writing style changed, and things started flowing. Humour peeked in. Tons of links between memories that helped me see my value, my strength, my beauty… and at one point, I felt like it wasn’t me writing really, but my Twin Flame. I realized I was filled with love and my Soul Mate/Divine Lover/Twin Flame (you know what I’m talking about… the perfect lover) was the one talking to me. I had become an observer for what was going on, a receiver of powerful love.

In the last page… you see, I can’t stop crying just thinking about it… I’ll roughly translate it for you…

“She” said to me, “I’m packing my bags Francis, I’m coming, we’ll meet very soon, I know you can’t wait to reunite with me and I’ve been granted permission now, we’re ready. Don't have expectations on it, don't force it, let me come. Have faith, don’t abandon even though I know you can’t for you are a warrior and have always been. Do me a favour my love, please, love yourself more each day, for I can spot your light at the other end of the Universe when you shine, and what a light. You are my star. I’m your lover, I am Mara.”

I held the pen up for a few seconds and truth is, I didn’t write the name Mara down. Later on, I realized it had come so naturally, in such a fluid way, that I became convinced that was her name.

Try it, for you. Breathe, open up, and just start writing yourself a love letter. Tell yourself how much you deserve love, how beautiful and courageous you are. You’ll see… something unexpected will shift in you. I know I will read that letter every day now, and will write more.

Love is Home.

Sunny Winters