There Was A Little Girl...

There Was A Little Girl...

...and she had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good, she was very, very good,
And when she was bad she was horrid!

Anyone else remember that little rhyme? For some reason, my mother used to say it to me as a child...

Anyway...

MAN I have been feeling like that little girl the past few days. And, okay, my whole life, really, but it has felt even more extreme just the past few days.

When I'm feeling good, the energy is just RUSHING through me, flowing like Niagara Falls, with TONS of ideas, motivation, passion, and the energy to carry them out. I feel POWERFUL and insightful, like the Eye of God, with super sharp intuitive abilities and a feeling of utter peace and belonging.

And then there's the bad.

When the bad hits, suddenly I feel worthless. Like I'm in a world that doesn't want me, doesn't embrace any of the things I am, and would really like to just see me GO. And I want to. I feel like going. I feel angry and sad and filled with hopeless despair.

And I swear, I've been switching from one to the other as quickly as I switch from one TV channel to another the past few days.

It sucks!

For simplification, I'll call the 'good' feeling-place Channel A, and the 'bad' feeling-place Channel B. When I'm on Channel A, I'm pulsing with ultra-high frequency energy, being UBER productive in my writing and my work, sending healing out past the far reaches of the galaxy, and able to meet absolutely anything in my life with calm, confident solutions. Miracles are bursting to life all around me and I can barely keep up with the synchronicities and intuitive insights.

When I'm on Channel B, I not only feel all the bad feelings, but I feel that because of them, I shouldn't even TRY to heal or teach or counsel ANYONE ever. After all, if I can't stay off Channel B myself, how can I have ANYTHING to offer anyone else?

And did I mention...it really SUCKS to feel that way.

Well, I just went through one of these channel-surfing days, and this is what I finally came out with, with the loving help of my amazing partner, Shannon. That even though I flip onto Channel B sometimes, that what I have to offer people...what I in fact LIVE to offer people...is what they need. That just because I'm not living a permanent existence on Channel A doesn't mean I can't give people exactly what I intend to give them, which is spirit-led healing, guidance, and teaching about how to live, work, and play in the New Energy. Yes, I still flip over into sudden and intense pits of despair, but I can still help others through pretty much any crisis that they come to me with, and I still have a deep knowledge of how the New Energy works and how to create in it. In fact, even when my own channel seems stuck on B, if someone shows up in my life that needs me, I find myself channeling A-material that delights and surprises even me.

So yeah. This is my coming-out, in a way. Because I'm not going to pretend I don't ever feel channel-B-ish. And from now on, I'm not going to let the fact that I DO sometimes feel channel-B-ish, negate either my belief in my ability to help others, or the validation of my experiences while on channel A.

Sittin' somewhere in the middle now...

Satina