and again, she enters center stage

there is someone in my life, who i've known for some years now. someone who I attribute a portion of my clarity too. she's got a way about her i will not let go. she holds the words that make my heart sing, and the words that are so harsh i can plummet into darkness only to remember, that nothing is personal.

there's never been someone like her in my life. we were close friends for a handful of years, but in anger we split ways. yet in the deepest depression i've first handedly experienced, she out of no where, contacted me. lifted me. helped me to my spiritual feet again. but i threw it all way because i didn't understand ,.... something. I still don't really know. about 4 or 5 times now we've gone silent on each other. we just stop calling, delete phone numbers and emails and curse the person.

... yet the same thing happens every time. somewhere random, places completely out of either of our characters, we find one another. we find one another and the problems that existed still exist, but we forget them and embrace like long lost siblings, or the lovers i guess we are. within hours the old problems are thrown out, and we begin anew.

it was obvious the last time this happened, that she is key to something i'm doing or will do. within the last year i've embarked on a spiritual smorgasbord which is very heavily influenced by the ideas of evolution of consciousness. ... so when i see her two nights ago, in some crummy bar, what does she tell me. "i spent 3 weeks in Mexico with the indigenous people at Chichen Itza. and now as we talk today it's becoming clear our paths are similar. Both sort of unfolding together it would seem.

i'd say i can never let this person go,.. but i mean, that's what i want, but of course what i truly want is what's natural to happen. whatever that might be, however we (all of us, the one) need it to go.

while a year ago i might be feeling desperate to figure out why she is so important, now with desperation sorta out of my mindset, i'm intensely curious. intensely.

this is the kinda stuff that makes people marry and claim soulmate status. i'm not really about that. and i'm unsure what to make of this. but wow. with 2008 approaching, and a short walk ahead of us before a leap, how is it she appears now? how now?
what now?
oh how i love her.
oh how i love this.