Please send cleansing healing energy

Hello all. Normally I wouldn’t make this request but the negativity all around me is getting me down, and my weight seems to be fading also. The thing is that a few weeks ago I was told at work that I am to be redeployed. This is because there’s a lady here whom will revert to her Level 2 status from 1st January 2008, and I too am a Level 2 (though that is due to certain “circumstances”and I am capable of being a Level 100) and because I work at 0.8 FTE (full-time equivalent) and the Director only needs one Level 2 and full-time at that, I am to be redeployed.

The lady staying here is very sensitive to every little thing, I have just realised. She is really bitter and negative because there was a Level 3 position recently advertised in our area, which she wanted to apply for (no guarantee she would get it) but the Managing Director decided to make a compulsory selection criterion be that the incumbent HAD to speak Mandarin fluently, which she doesn’t !! However, she had been led to believe that she would be in the “running” to apply for the L3 when it came up.

The “snowball effect” - to my surprise I found that as we are getting a new L3 next year, this impacts upon her and myself, as detailed above. Now, it is bad enough with the girls around me being negative and complaining about many others and forecasting doom and gloom, when I am a very positive person. My Manager is also demanding and somewhat dis-organised, and I think that she creates twice as much work as is necessary. The communication within my work area is poor also (and not on my part).

I have spoken to both the HR Manager and the Redeployee Consultant and they have told me different things and mis-led my Manager also. They gave me next to no information about the redeployment process in the first place. My Manager (she is a Director here) doesn’t want to pay my salary from 1st January and the Redeployee consultant said HR doesn’t want to pay for me either, which does not make me feel exactly wanted. HR have been very weird with me, the Manager saying things like “In my back pocket I have a Records Officer position which you can go to” - --- but the Redeployee consultant mentioned that such was a possibility only, i.e. a records position MAY come up mid 2008 or later. I wonder what then do I do in the meantime?

God knows why they say things, for example, when I replied that I really would like to go to Records (which is where I was when I first joined the organisation) “I’m surprised you want to go to Records”. That’s a value judgment given they don’t know me from a bar of soap OR is it they are trying to influence me to go into particular positions? Next, the HR manager held up my expression of interest in a certain position X which I found on the Jobs W.A. website (public vacancy) just because I upset him by emailing him a request for my Manager and I to meet with him together, upon her suggesting that to me and telling me to send the email !! Has he got something to hide, because he responded that my Manager cannot go with me to meet him, regarding redeployee matters. Some days later I rang the Redeployee Consultant to ask was he progressing my interest in that position X and he said the HR Manager had DIRECTED him to not to progress until I sent the HR Manager an email saying why “we” the Manager and I wanted to meet with him. I mean, that was a separate issue to my interest in position X, and none of them had even the courtesy to tell me they had frozen the job search until I sent such an email !!!

It has been a night-mare for me, and please don’t tell me otherwise. My Manager tells me to let her know my feelings and if I am upset over anything, then when I told her that I felt HR was slow in helping me and reacted strangely to me, she replied “No, it’s just that they are busy”. Then when I told her it is stressful for me not knowing where I will go to, she replied “at least you’ve got a job”. What’s the point of her asking me to confide my feelings in her, when her sensitivity is equal to a buffalo (sorry). I mean she wanted to organise a farewell morning tea for me this week, and I don’t even know where I am going …. and WHEN I am going !! To me anyway it is bizarre to say “farewell Celine” when HR haven’t found a position for me yet and I might even stay where I am for several months to come !!

I have been informing the other girls on what is happening, but they don’t seem appreciative of my confidences in them, rather the lady whom is stressed out at not getting the L3 job, is telling people my personal business. She is concerned about what will happen to her, with respect to what work she will be doing from Jan 2008 but how about some sensitivity toward me – who could be redeployed to a full-time position to God knows where, perhaps many miles away, because my agency has got locations sprinkled all around the place.

Mainly, the negativity and in-sensitivity has been getting me down, and I don’t even have the energy now to use Reiki to try to clear the energies !! I have to get through this week then I will be on three weeks annual leave. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Yes I know that I should see everything as a lesson to learn from, blah blah, but I AM positive, and I will appreciate some sensitivity or understanding regarding my saying here that the negativity is wearing me down and even changing me a bit (for the worse, you know, go along with my “friends” – be like them), and would appreciate people’s understanding that even if 3-D life is an “illusion” it is real enough to tire one out and generate thoughts of “escapism”.

After all, I am not young any longer, I’ve lived a life and sometimes I doubt people saying “the rainbow is just around the corner” or “all this will be over soon”. I mean, 44 years of “hardship” or challenges is behind me – and yes I know that others are a lot worse off than me, of course, but I am still HUMAN. Please note that I am not pitying myself because I always take action, rather than feel angry or take out my frustrations on others, but I am getting TIRED.

Therefore, I would appreciate it please if you can send my workplace members and myself love and healing cleansing energy and keep good wishes for me in your thoughts.

Namaste

~ Star Wise ~