Visions of a White Castle in the snow

In the past year I have been experiencing so much and then understanding so little. At first it was empathy and curiosity. Then it became obsession and new found energy. Now I have learned a little I understand I have a purpose but am not sure what it is yet. It is to seek truth, for myself and for others. But I am not sure how to pursue it. I have learned about my Chi/Psi/Chakra and have meditated on feeling and controlling it. I managed to make great leaps in this area in a few days. But the next day when I went to access the same control I could not grasp the calm within necessary to do so. I put myself at ease and tried to let go of need for control. I drifted into energy and thought and as I have begun to do saw many very clear things. None of which were familiar not did my mind linger long enough on any of them until it settle on a vision of a great white caste. Wide walls at the bottom and behind them a steadily rising series of walls and structure, Pyramid lick in its basic outline, not quit symmetrical but pleasing to the eye and giving the fealing of symmetry and upward flow, and at the center standing taller than the pyramid outline would allow a single wide round white tower. The whole caste gave the impression of being all white but there were "highlights" in grays and other colors which gave it depth and a lived in feeling. The castle was sorrounded by tall mountains all covered in snow and gray rock.

I have been looking everywhere for references to this but all I have found in Ludwig II of Bavaria and his new "Swan Stone" caste but its not in the right setting. In fact Ludwig obsession to building these "white" castes in the snowy peaks made me wonder what HE had seen.

I feel that this place does exist but hasn't been accessible to us. I wonder what it means. Meanwhile the signs and information relating to my purpose for traveling to Mexico and exploring the Yucatan are only getting stronger. I feel as though I should head out immediately to discover what has been left for me to find. But I have been crippled by L5 nerve cluster. Those of you familiar with chakra points, etc might be able to offer some advice. So far healer of many schools have tried but nothing has put the slightest dent in my pain. I know it is this pain that is keeping me from accessing my true potential. Not to mention I can not stand for more than 5-10 min. How am I to hike through the Yucatan jungle as I know I must. I am working now on a plan to head to the Yucatan as an English teacher. My family is from South America and I can do the job and it will put me in the right place to meet the people who can help me. I feel I must follow the available doors to meet my guide down there.

I often think of myself as an explorer and a pathfinder. But I have become lost and do not know how I can proceed. My social requirement make it impossible to take such journeys of self discovery and that makes me sad. I became a documentary film maker in the hopes I might find a business resource to fund my curiosity but so far I have come up short. I want to join the effort to find the truth for all of us. Groups like Enterprise Mission and other whom I wish I could go help but I can't afford to.

I wanted to write all this in the hopes that fate would guide the right nuggets of wisdom and enlightenment my way and yours. The connections are far reaching and amazing. What once seamed opposing views of existence reveal themselves to me as different sides of a bigger whole. I hope this will help others understand that they are not the only ones feeling the need to do something. It is real. Your purpose is real. We have only to reach out to each other and begin out work of discovery.