12 12 12 12 im a little lost

Friends lightworkers and anyone who reads this blog, I thank you for stopping and giving me a little bit of your "time". As we all know the 12 12 was a powerfull day for many of us and I felt it as energy almost weighing down on my solar plexus. Im not psychic of a healer or a Guru or anything like that. Im just a human who is trying to grasp what this life is about and what it has to offer. Alot of the channellings here say that we create our reality. Do we? I am trying to be as open minded about this as I can and I count my blessings and give gratitude for them as much as I can for they are plenty. But.... there had to be a But coming in that sentence hehe. Im lost. Yes dear friends I am lost and confused and each day I am scared that even Light and grids and numbers will let me down. Now I hear alot of you saying FEAR let go of that. Yes I am trying but how?? How can you let go of something that you have been living with all your lifetimeS Its easier said than done. And my fear is not vast im not a person who is scared of the sun or the light. I embrace all that is God but im human and we all have fears. For a moment now I had almost lost track of where this blog entry is going. Is it darkest just before dawn? Will the Universe be shaped according to my desires? Have I bored you yet?? Im going to end this entry with a qoute from a book by Osho called Vedanta the ultimate truth. "Humanity,Islam, christianity, Hinduism or even God- the brain can work with, there is no problem, because only thinking is implied, no lived experience is needed.You are not asked to get involved in anything where your heart will be required: just concepts just logic, mathematics. The head can do that. Science is head work. Religion (spirituality) is heart-work".