Im still alive

Tho none the less by mericals. Lord I hate fear and what it does to me. Anyway, I have found a cheaper motel and i am staying here with my son. I wemt into a bit of shock in the struggle to get here. Loosing the laptop didn't help. with no phone .and the place i ended up coming to is the ultimate den of iniquity. This is the melting pot of all the drugs.......so scary. So hard to put my son around all this tempataion. Amanda came by. My daughter in law as so to speak.....to see jon. Hickies all over her neck yet she rubs her hands all over his chest.knowing......he has been so long without the comfort of any companion. He did not waiver. He showed her his na kit.......it included a rubber.........thats all i got to sy about that.......i have suffered more attacks. Come to find out my grandson is freaking out again. They have denied him to his daycare lady saying they do not think she is capable of 'handling' jonnie. Jonnie is a very special, hyperactive, frightened and mad, indego child. I bet they are having a hard time controlling him or conviencing him of any truth. He need to hear the truth his father, and me. I know when they stabalize communication, the child will calm down. I will make this happen...............i love you all and am so sorry if i have offended any in my stressful moment.
with and open heart i send you my joy, for still, even now..my joy remains tho a bit cluttered with a few storm clouds.............i will survive being homeless............i just know