The Warrior

The term warrior has always triggered something within me each time I hear it. I have seen many people use the term warrior, even if it is for the good. It is ok I suppose, everything on this world is permitted. The warrior usually has traits that one might consider good, such as courage, honor, and not letting down. Excellent.

I myself was trained as a warrior, yes in this physical realm. Even beyond the physical realm, I have experienced many conflicts. Perhaps our definitions of warrior are different. As a warrior, I was taught to fight, but it does not end there, I was also taught to kill. A warrior is one engaged in conflict, engaged in nothing short of war. That is why they call such a person a WARrior. Whether that war be man against man, or light against dark, or right against wrong. Yes, it takes much courage to stand strong, to survive. Many warriors exhibit traits that are unseen by some. Some might even be virtuous. But these are not the warrior, the warrior is part of war. Warriors change things. A person can experience many things without being a warrior.

Yet many of times, in my own experiences, I have been saddened by becoming a warrior. I have lost my share of blood, even a part of my soul. Few years ago, I was in emotional turmoil. At that time, I could not have forgiven myself. I had a war within me, a different war, a war I sought to win. I suffered severe depression, and considered more than once to end it all. I kept fighting, and each time I thought I gained the upper hand, each time I thought I had won, I realized just how much I have lost. The final resolve, the best resolve, was to stop fighting, as it has for me to this day.

There is no light in war. Once we pick up our weapons, once we engage, there is only chaos and dissolve. I do not speak for most people, but most people do not understand war. War does not work, it never has. In war, we forget love, we forget our humanity, the end result will be the same. We justify our wars in many ways, we say the other side is unjust, negative, evil, corrupt, yet we do not understand the other side when we join war, nor do we understand ourselves.

The figure that always inspired me was Mohandas Ghandi. He felt the side of war, yet he did not fight in one. He fielded no warriors, only men and women of courage. He took away the sides of duality, the enemy. He won. The one person who showed that we do not need to be warriors to stop a war. In war, everybody loses.

I believe in honor, loyalty even, justice when it is right. But becoming a warrior was perhaps a curse for me. If I was just the light, I need not field any warriors, for the light is my shield, the light is impenetrable. It is untouchable. It illuminates darkness, without need to fight it. Conflict is our dimness, nothing more.

I do not wish that my post be thought of us negative for those consider themselves warriors proudly no matter how metaphoric it is. It is in our right. Sometimes warriors are needed, most times they are not. Such things are permissable as are all things. I merely wished to share.

In compassion,
Windward