"OUT OF BODY EXPIRENCES'

I call it spirit walking. The neivity of a child and isolation throughout my whole life had me believing until a few years ago that it was something everyone did. It was so much easier as a child and actually something I spent years training and discipling myself not to do and to this day, if I TRY to do it it can be very difficult. So much of my mind is cluttered and 'impressed' compaired to when I was a child. I can still remember every journey vividly.
It was an angel that taught me how to travel outta body when I was 4 years old. Angels were my constant invisible companions as a child, another thing too, that I thought everyone expirienced. The Hess's had petitioned the courts to have me returned to them and with my brother whom I had been seperated from. There were 4 of us children in all, my oldest brother and sister being raised in another foster home in another town. I spent the majority of my youngest years with my brother Darrell, who was 2 years older than me and always took great joy in the mental manipulation of me. When the Hess's got me back it was just before my kindergarten year. That's when I was introduced to church and found out my invisible friends were called guardian angels. It was when I first heard of God and that there was a source, a power unseen, that one could draw upon for strength and wisdom to make right choices. It was also when I was introduced properly to fear. I always considered fear a person spirit and the angels adimatley warned me against playing or even listening to fear claiming him to be a bad influence upon me that would inevitably always lead me to trouble. Like a child I often did not always heed to their advice because their singling fear out like that made me pity him. I viewed fear as an unwanted outcast like myself. But I soon found them to be correct for fear would torment me after awhile with thoughts of doing something wrong to make the Hess's send me away. I found that everytime I listened to him what he said would become bigger and I would in up doing exactly what he predicted and do something wrong to disappoint the Hess's. After a few months this became a driven horror of my heart. I had been in some horrible places the Hess's being the safest and kindest I so did not want to leave...even worse..I did not want them to not want me there after being so kind to let me stay there. Fear thrived on my attention and even seemed to me to be quite jeleous of the angels and would often make me feel quity for not wanting his company. He always split when the angels were around and it was always my choice to keep his company. The angels would warn me but never did they interfear and would leave if I choise the company of fear. However after just a few months I found fear became bigger than me. He began to engulf me, influencing so many of my thoughts that I became very confused and didn't even know which thoughts were mine, and which were fears. I felt like he was actually just trying to trick me to steal my mortal body for he was 'stuck' in the spirit and could only feel things as I did by using my body. Fear was the first person I ever rejected, and i still remember clearly how it broke my heart to have to reject him. Rejection was one of the most painful things I had ever expirienced and it didn't feel right to make someone elce feel that way. I remember the angels finding humor in this, something to which I took most seriously, but assuring me that fear does not get his 'feelings' hurt. That fear was creative and rezilliant and had lived and thrived quite well since before the dawn of man. They told me that it was an illusion, a trick of fear to make me feel he needed me. That he had a whole universe to play with and one little child really matter not to him. Within the three months I had so faithfully played with him I got into so much trouble! It seemed like everytime I turned around I was doing something wrong...just exactly as the angels had warned me. I so desperately did not want the Hess's to send me away so I began to reject fear and started hanging out with angels again instead. It didn't take me long to see that when I listened to the angels the Hess's smiled or I did not dissappoint them or get into trouble. I made a deicated decision then to be a student of love and right things. That is so not easy when your a hyper curious 4 year old that never sleeps. I had narrowed down most of the rules of that house but man, staying in bed, taking naps, going to sleep at night was the most difficult challenge of them all. Bare in mind too that at that time there were 20 other children in that orphanage. They were very strict about rules and made no exceptions
I had turned 4 in July and as it neared Septemeber marked a change of my growth for I was to start school. The closer it came to start school the more difficult it got to rest and sleep, and let me tell you, I could not fool Mrs. Hess no matter how hard I tried. She could always tell when I would try to 'fake' sleep! So I finially asked the angels to help me It was Augest 26th 1965, a week before school was to start. This is what the angel told me to do. She, and yes I say she for her gender was gentle and motherly more like my mother not like some angels and fear that seemed to have the characteristics of my dad and brother. First, she said, you have to tell your body to listen to you. You have to tell it to be very still and mind you because it's 'your' body. She told me to 'tell' my arms and legs to be still. She told me to lick my right pointer finger and hold it up in the air...and wait. That was the hard part hahaha. She said when I could feel a breeze on my finger, I could get up but my body would stay in bed and get the rest it needed while I still played. I was so amazed at how i could just walk through walls and doors..forbidden doors of which I will not mention at this time...Everything was so vivid and so clear that as a child I believed they could see me and not wanting to get caught I quickly turned away from the curiosities of the forbidden places in the house and began my waunderings instead outside and down on the river. I so loved the river as a child but could never go out over it until then. I found it to be even more magical at night under the light of the moon. The first thing I did is what I could not do in my body and fly right over out in the middle of the great Sacramento. It was the first time I ever saw a fish swim, and these were not just fish! These were great HUGE salmon some of them as big it seemed as I was! Amazing what one can do when fear is not present I thought..which inevitably led to the downfall of my many flights. Almost magically overnite I could not wait to go to bed and thrived chasing the fish up and down the river, sometimes cutting it very close to morning.
One of my last flights fear had followed me.He kept taunting me telling me 'your gona get caught and get into trouble! Mom's gona come in to wake you up and catch you out of your body and know you've been bad playing all night!' I said, 'the angels told me I didn't have to listen to you' and contenued to play much longer than usual. It was the first time I had ever seen the dawn on the river. Still to this day one of the most beautiful things I have evr seen. I was flying inches above the water and I noticed the lighter it got outside, a mist started to rise off the river as if the water in the river itself was rising to greet the sun. Now get this...I could 'feel' the mist on my face. So entranced with the beauty that I did not realize it was getting late and the sun was coming up. I remember rushing back to my body in a panic just as mom came in to wake me and as I jumped back in my body I had brought the mist of the river with me. I was soaking wet and I stunk like the spauning salmon. I don't know if you are familiar with that smell, but it is unmistakable. I jumped out of bed before my mother could get to close because I knew if she got too close she would see I was all wet and smell and know exactly why. I was not allowed to play down by the river. That ended such flights of fancy for years at night because I was afraid of getting caught. I remember an angel telling me, something I am still learning, you know it's right when fear is not there because then you are in the presence of love and love always pushes all fear away................