How I feel, how I wish things Change for a Change

I temporarily moved with my "friends", away from the big city - I wanted peace and quiet.
I still dislike how everything is on Earth (things like working most time to have one basic needs met. I find it stupid waste of time as I've always wanted to get out of any work I've had.

Astrology, psychic people call me lucky, while I work hard to accomplish what I want in life, no matter what I create.
With the lucky term... I found most Earth proffessions not as interesting to me or not being able to provide the means for the lifestyle I wanted. The only think that made me lucky was that I was still alive along with the health challanges that I've had some part of my life.

I hope it would be my last time here. I wish I could handcraft clothes for angel and pack my the suitcase for upward ascension.

I know that I need to draw smiley faces and get Vitamin D so I could get out of this temporary strange feeling.

I feel like I have a blank in the field of interests. I've been here, done that!

I don't know where to move yet, even though I have a calling to go at least one state!

I want to meet warm people. I found that I can only relate to 5-10% of people.

I miss New York, but not the New Yorkers. Even though I love them and love people in general.

People have so many bad qualities.

I wish I could be a minister, teacher of some sort, who helped people through away the shackles.

I want to travel the world. And be happy with the other half. I skipped college, because my health didn't allow.

I didn't understnad this setup. I was a pure person, I paid attention. I've felt that people would tell me that I did something wrong but it was them. I don't know where I messed up in past lives, but I know I had no desire to disturb the universe as my heart was always pure. I started to find myself disconnected from my self, like my heart and the rest were separate things. I find myself emotionally unconscious most of my life. While sometimes, I had 10-20 people working with me, so I dont end my life. I feel like some things I can't solve. And I feel like I have done nothing wrong to cause them. I don't like the way people treat each other. Like others are not important. While others feel things. And are highly intelligent beings.

I felt lost most of my life, while I had an interesting life I found myself sitting nowhere in the interesting city at a coffee shop contemplating about my life and my next move.

I wish I can find out what makes me happy and I can start from that.

Sometimes I felt like I miss everything in life. I guess I'll build a church of my own, connect with others who are helping others grow. I find myself crying inside the last several days

I am still want to know what planet I am from. But I feel like it's not the time, like it doesn't want me to know, because I will be taking walls down looking for a flight ticket.

Psychics told me I will live a long life they didn't tell me where. I want to move.

I find myself, disliking my past most of the times. I wish something changes with in me, the ice moves.

I keep crying inside... I feel lonely, because I find so unsutable for this planet, for me to buy a par of pants means tailor it and if it's to dry clean it has to be only organic. I am allergic to a lot of things.

I wish I could be done with what I was supose to learn on Earth or what the heck I am suppose to do here anyways.

I feel so much emptiness inside, even in the most interesting city.

I wish I know where to go and what to do and what could make me happy.

The world looks like pumkin that is going to fall and roll.

What a movie, man!

I feel dissapointed.

P.S. I started to acknowledge my feelings after a couple of things I've learned from my "career ventures".

I want to end up somewhere where I want to be, where I am suppose to be [in life and in what makes me happy - happiness]

I want to change the reality I wrote about. It's a processs.