MY NOT SO PERFECT CIRCLE

I HAVE SOMETHING PERSONAL TO SHARE, AND WHY IM DOING WHAT IM DOING...

ABOUT A YEAR AGO MY LIGHT WENT TO A NEW UNFAMILAR PLACE, MY JOY WAS EXTENDED ...HOWEVER A "GAP" IN REALITY BEGAN TO GROW IMMEDIATELY, I HAD LOST MY BELOVED MOTHER, BUT GAINED HER PEACE, AS SHE LAID DYING IN THE HOSPITAL, WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE, I REMEMBER HER GUILT AS SHE ASKED IF IT WAS "OK" TOO GO.... I TOLD HER IF SHE WANTED TO "FIGHT" I WOULD STAND BE HIND HER A 110 % BUT I ALSO ACKNOWLEDGED THE 30 YEAR BATTLE IN WHICH THE VESSEL SHE "SHARED" WITH US WAS "TIRED".... AND I TOLD HER IT WAS "OK", RELUCTENTLY, SHE SAID WILL I GO TO HEAVEN? I SAID YES MOM, YOU KNOW YOU WILL, YOU HAVE LOVED GOD FOR A LONG TIME, AND HE LOVES YOU TOO,... I FELT THE NEED TO ASSURE HER OF HER "WELCOME" INTO HEAVEN..

AND SO WE SAID THE "SINNERS PRAYER".... IMMEDIATELY SHE GREW  PEACEFUL AND WE FINISHED THE DAY BY TALKING ABOUT "CHOOSING THE PICTURES" AND SUCH OUT OF HER HOUSE, IT BROKE MY HEART INSIDE, BUT SHE FELT A "POWER" IN CONTROLLING WHAT WAS DONE HERE ON EARTH BEFORE SHE PASSED AWAY

WE TALKED ABOUT FUNERAL PLOTS AND THAT SHE HAD CHANGED HER MIND TO BE CREMATED... ALL THE WHILE I  SAT IN "RESPECT AND SADNESS" FOR HER LAST WISHES SO TO SPEAK, WE LOOKED AT PICTURES OF MY BOYS (ONES ALREADY IN HEAVEN) HE WOULD BE 19 NOW, AND WE TALKED ABOUT THE GIRL I TOOK ON GUARDIANSHIP (HER MOTHER PASSED AWAY) FATHER IN PRISON THE POINT IS NO SURVIVING FAMILY MEMBER WOULD TAKE THIS GIRL (OR TROUBLED YOUTH) THE REALLY REALLY ODD THING ABOUT THIS IS HER BIRTHDAY IS THE SAME AS MY DECESSED SON  ONLY DIFFERENT YEAR (WHATEVER I EXCEPTED THIS WEIRDNESS WITH THE THOUGHT OF IT BEING MY NEW JOB (LORD HELP ME) I "DO" BOY STUFF (MATTHEW, MIKEL, AND MARK) NOT GIRL STUFF, UUUGGGHHH EXPECIALLY WITH A 15 YEAR OLD... OH WELL MY MOM SAID IT WOULD BE OK AND THEN VISITED WITH MY BROTHER, HIS BEAUTIFUL WIFE AND THEIR 3 KIDS..

MY MOM SEEMED FULL OF LIFE WHEN I VISITED THE NEXT DAY AND I WAS SO HAPPY THE WERE SERVING OUR FAVORITE DINNER FOR HER TO ENJOY.. IT WAS A "SIGN" TO ME THAT GOD LOVED HER AND WOULD BE WITH HER WHEN I HAD TO GO BACK TO OKLAHOMA, I LET MY MOM WITH ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD AND RECIEVED A REDBIRD AS I WAS LEAVING THE HOSPITAL TO VALIDATE THAT EVERYTHING WAS IN  "GOOD HANDS" AND SINCE SHE WAS  DOING SO WELL THEY SAID SHE COULD GO HOME...  3 DAYS LATTER SHE DIED.. THE NEXT DAY WAS 4TH OF JULY (MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY) AND SO I CHOOSE TO SEE HER PASSING AS A WELL DESERVED CELEBRATION AND WITH EACH FIREWORK THAT BURNED BRIGHT IN THE NIGHT SKY .... I REALIZED  THE CONFIRMATION OF WHAT WAS TOO BE...(AMEN)

IN THE FOLLOWING MONTHS I HAD A TERRIBLE TIME AND WAY TOO MANY INCIDENTS WITH MICHELLE (15) AND MIKEL (17)... THEY WERE TOTALLY ROTTEN, DRUGS, WEED, METH, YOU NAME IT... THEY BOTH TALKED ABOUT SUICIDE AND MICHELLE WAS A "CUTTER" AND EVENTUALLY TAUGHT MY SON (ONLY ONCE) BUT NEVER THE LESS... IT BECAME TOTALLY IMPOSSIABLE FOR ME TO GO TO WORK AND LEAVE THESE IDIOTS ALONE (UN SUPERVISED) & TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL THEY  WANTED (YAH FEEL ME) AND SO  AFTER LOSING 3 JOBS ( I HAVE BEEN A WAITRESS FOR 25 YEARS) I JUST "COULDN'T" GO TO THE COUNTRY CLUB WHERE I WAS CURRENTLY WORKING AND PRETEND TO BE PLEASANT & CARE ABOUT YOUR SANDWITCH AND GOLF GAME,

ESPECIALLY WHEN THE LAST WORDS MY SON SAID BEFORE MY SHIFT WAS.... I HATE MY LIFE, I DONT WANT TO BE HERE, I SHOULD JUST SMASH THIS ROCK INTO MY HEAD..WOW!! NOT SOMETHING A MOTHER SHOULD EVER HEAR (BUT IM STRONG) I WENT THRU 18 YEARS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE, SO I KNEW HOW TO PUT MY NEEDS ASIDE (EVEN IF I  MENT LOSING MY JOB) I JUST KNEW I NEEDED TO BE THERE FOR HIM, FOR HER... AND SO OVER THE COUPLE OF MONTHS WITH ALL THIS CHAOS (INCLUDING MY SONS OWN VIOLENCE TOWARDS ME AND MY PROPERTY) I TOOK THEM TO THE "PROFESSIONAL'S" AND  THEY "LABLED" MY KIDS DEPRESSED,  BIO POLAR, ADD & A.D.H.D, THEY GAVE THEM EXCUSES FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR  AND TELLING MY NEW DAUGHTER THAT SHE WAS AFRAID OF CROWDS... (WHATEVER)

I SWEAR TO YOU IT WAS THE MOST TERRIABLE EXPERIENCE I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY WHOLE  LIFE (WAY BEYOND MY OWN EXPERIENCE OF DRUGS AND VIOLENCE) THESE WERE CHILDREN AND I JUST COULD'T EXCEPT THIS WAS ALL LIFE HAD TO OFFER THE 3 OF US.... ANYWAY I "CRACKED" SO TO SPEAK.... I MOVED OUT OF THE HOUSE AND LEFT THEM IN THE CARE OF A DEAR FRIEND WHO ACTUALLY DID WORK ALOT OF HOURS BUT HE WAS 54 AND SO I KNEW HE WAS ARELIABLE, TRUSTWORTHY GUY, AND HONESTLY  I FIGURED HE WOULD CALL THE POLICE  OR FIRE DEPT, OR AMBULANCE IF HE HAD TO.. THEY WERE WRECHED, WRECHED, CHILDREN...

DURING THOSE 2 WEEKS MY SON WOULD CALL AND LEAVE SUICIDE "THREATS"  BUT TO BE HONEST WITH YOU ALL I REALLY  COULDNT GO ON,  EXCEPTING THEIR DELUSIONS AND THEIR FALSE PERSPECTIVE OF REALITY (HELL NO!!)  AND SO... FAST FORWARD 6 MO'S LATTER, IN MY NEW APT ( I MOVED OUT OF A BEAUTFUL PLUSH 10 ROOM HOUSE) PRIME AREA, ETC. BUT IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SELF TRANSFORMATION ...I GOT BACK TO THE "BASIC'S" AND TRUE MEANING OF LIFE... IT WAS "HERE" IN MY NEW CRAPPY APT. THAT   I RE ESTABLISHED MY CONNECTION W/ GOD, AND MY FAITH OF A BEAUTIFUL NEW WAY OF LIFE GREW STRONG, MAYBE NOT BT APPERENCES...(I GAVE UP ALOT OF STUFF) BUT THEN AGAIN, I GAINED SO MUCH, JUST BY BEING WITH GOD, MY FATHER, MY GALACTIC COSMIC MASTER...OM

AND SO IT IS TODAY, BOTH KIDS LIVE WITH ME... I ADMIT AT 1ST IT WAS DIFFICULT, AND THEIR BEHAVIOR WAS STILL NOT EXCEPTABLE AND SO I CONTINUED TO STAY "OFF WORK" B.T.W. THANKYOU MY DEAR SWEET MOM, WITHOUT HER LOVE AND CONCERN I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO SO) INHERITENCE... NOT ALOT BUT ENUFF TO PAY MY BILLS THESE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS... HOWEVER,  HAVING WORKED MY WHOLE LIFE SINCE I WAS 15 (IM PRETTY OLD NOW) THE OTHER BOY ON MY PAGE IS MATTHEW HES 26... LOL ANYWAY

 MY POINT IS... I COULDN'T  JUST SIT AROUND AND ROT AND BE CONDEMED TO BE A "NOTHING" IN LIFE.... I STARTED THINKING ABOUT ALL THE DRUGS THEY WANTED MY CHILDREN TO TAKE JUST TO BE ABLE TO "GET ALONG" AND FUNCTION IN "SOCIETY" WHAT A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT (EXCUSE MY LANGUAGE) BUT SERIOUSLY, I REALLY I KNEW BETTER, AND I KNEW MY GOD WOULD NOT DEMAND OR INSIST ON MY KIDS BEING "DEPENDENT" ON MEDS, NO WAY NO HOW.......(TRUTH)  

THATS WERE MY "CREATIVITY" SOME CALL IT...SOME CALL IT "CRAZYNESS"CAME INTO PLAY ..LOL.... IT WAS THRU MY PURE EXAUSTEDNESS AND BOTTOMLESS-PIT "MIND SET" THAT TOLD ME "PEOPLE ARE ACTING CRAZY AND STUPIED" BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT PUTTING GOOD THINGS IN THEIR BODY, ITS KILLING THEM, MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY....IT WAS AT THAT POINT, AFTER POURING MYSELF YET ANOTHER GLASS OF COKE (2 LITTER A DAY HABIT) THAT I SAID  TO HELL WITH THIS... I CAN MAKE MY OWN DRINK, I CAN MAKE MYSELF BETTER, HEALTHIER....AND TRUTHFULLY, I DONT HAVE TO "BUY" WHAT THE MEDIA IS TELLING ME IS  "WHAT'S HOT" I KNEW IF I DID THE RESEARCH MY SELF I COULD BE JUST AS GOOD AS THE "BIG BOYS" SO TO SPEAK,

IM NOT AFRAID OF RED BULL, MONSTER, ROCK STAR, SOBE  ETC... IM NOT IN COMPETITION WITH THEM, THERE JUST TRYING TO MAKE MONEY OFF OF PEOPLE WHO ARE STRUGGILING AND TIRED  AND 'CAUGHT UP" IN THEIR DAILY LIVES... THEY REALLY DO NOT SCARE ME ONE LITTLE BIT... AND IM SERIOUSLY READY TO TAKE ON ALL THE MAJOR ENERGY DRINK COMPANIES? ....WHY.... ???

 BECAUSE IT'S MENT TO BE,    IT IS MY GIFT BACK TO GUIA AND HER BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE... BELIEVE THIS:

WERE ALL ALITTLE SMARTER AND ALOT HEALTHIER BECAUSE ITS A "NEW DAY" ON MY HARD PLANET

 AND SO THE JOURNEY HAS BEGUN.... MOVE OVER RED BULL, THE RULES HAVE CHANGED...LOL  I COULDNT RESIST (I WANTED TO EXPLAIN HOW I GOT MY SALES PITCH)

ANYWAY,  IM SORRY TO SAY, IN HINDSIGHT.... IF I HAD "KNOWN" THAT I WAS GOING TO CREATE ....."THE NUMBER ONE ENERGY DRINK ON THE PLANET"

 I PROBABLY  WOULD OF SAVED A LITTLE MORE MONEY, BECAUSE I HONESTLY DIDNT REALIZE HOW MUCH MONEY IT WOULD COST ME TO "CAN IT"  AND THEN OF COURSE THERE'S PATENTS, TRADEMARKS, FDA, BARCODES,  ETC. ETC...  BUT DONT CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA...

BECAUSE REALLY... SERIOUSLY....IM FREE FROM THE BONDAGE OF WHAT THE WORLD SAYS THAT I CAN DO, AND NOTHING IS IMPOSSIABLE IF I BELIEVE WITH ONE HEART AND ONE MIND AND ONE BODY THAT ~  GOD/SOURSE TRUELY AND MIRACULOUSLY,  DOES  "RUN THE SHOW".... AND SO THINK OF ME... AND MY DREAM... AND MY VISION... AND MY VIBRATIONS AS BEING WITH.... AND AT.... ONE...

 PLEASE,...NO WORRIES, MY FRIEND AND I TALKED, THE PERSON I MENTIONED ABOVE.. I TOLD HIM,  ITS LIKE IVE BEEN PREGNANT FOR MONTHS, I SAID IVE GOT THE RECIEPE, LABEL, MANUFACTURER, ETC, ETC, ....I SAID BUT I CANT PAY THE DOCTOR, HE SAID, YAH, YAH, BUT LISTEN... IF YOUR WATER BREAKS, THE DOCTOR CANT STOP THE BABY FROM COMMING (ITS TRUE)...GOOD POINT.......

AND SO THAT IS WHY IM HERE TODAY, WRITING MY LIFE STORY (NOT REALLY) BUT IT SEEMS, AND I HOPE THAT I HAVENT BEEN TOO BOREING, I HATE READING BOREING THINGS THAT DONT "TEACH" ME ANYTHING.... AND MY POINT?

LAST NIGHT (HALLOWEEN) IT FELT AS I WAS TRUELY IN LABOR... IN MY BIRTH CANNAL AREA.. KINDA EXPLICIT I KNOW, BUT I HAVE BEEN THRU 3 LABORS, AND I SWEAR IT WAS LIKE SOMETHING JUST WANTED/NEEDED TO COME OUT (PAINFUL) ... I SAID TO MY SELF, OK NUT JOB, YOU HAVE SPIRTUALLY MANAIFESTED YOUR PURPLE DRINK WITH THE PERFECTED PURPOSE OF THE...IAM.... SO WHAT NOW?  ARE YOU GOING TO PHYSCIALLY MANIFEST IT ?     I SWEAR TO YOU I DONT SMOKE CRACK..LOL...

ANYWAY, & NO...... I DID NOT EAT TOO MUCH CANDY AND GET A PLAIN OL BELLY ACHE AND SEE VISIONS OF ENERGY DRINKS IN MY HEAD, THE TRUTH IS... I DONT EVEN LIKE CANDY, OR SWEETS, 4 REAL

SO THIS MORNING WHEN I WONT UP I FINALLY REALIZED ALL IS ALL...

MY  HOLY GALATIC COSMIC FATHER (THE SOURCE) HAS TOLD ME THAT I AM TO START A NEW REVELUTION (IN A PEACEFUL LOVEING, UP LIFTING WAY) 

AND YES THIS IS MY HARD PLANET, HE (THE PRESENCE) TOLD ME..... BUT I SHOULD ALSO REALIZE & GRASP THAT TRUELY IM HERE TO SET THEM FREE... AND SO IT MAY SOUND "GAY" BUT IM GOING TO SET MY PEOPLE FREE AND HELP THEM TO BREAK OUT OF THE CHAINS THAT BIND THEM....(FAST FOOD & PROCESSED)

 IF YOU EAT RIGHT... THEN YOU LOOK RIGHT,  AND WHEN YOU LOOK RIGHT...  YOU FEEL RIGHT.... AND WHEN YOU FEEL RIGHT...... YOU LIVE RIGHT...

WILL MY ENERGY DRINK CHANGE THE WORLD? I REALLY DONT KNOW???  BUT IT HAS TO START SOME WHERE AND APPRENTLY IM TUFF ENOUGH TO TAKE ON THE CORPORATE WORLD, REALIZING THAT IM JUST AS SMART, AND I DO KNOW WHAT TASTES GOOD ...AND... I KNOW HOW TO MARKET & DEAL WITH THE PUBLIC FROM MY (25 YEARS OF PLEASANTLY  WAITRESSING IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD

SO YAH,  MAYBE I CAN START THE FIRE THAT SAYS WE DEMMAND A CHOICE....WE DEMAND HEALTHY DRINKS..... AND FOR THOSE PAYING ATTENTION.... WERE NOT GOING TO BE THE SISSY HEALTH FOOD STIGMA THAT YOU POTRAY US AS (MEEK AND TIMID)   WITH "YOUR" UN IMAGINITIVE "LABELS".... HENCE THE "HOT SHOT" LABEL BABY...

SO DREAM.... HOT HOT.... IMAGINE.... HOT SHOT... BELIEVE IN YOURSELF....  HOT SHOT... IMPOWER YOUR SELF....  HOT SHOT...

YA GET WERE IM GOING WITH THIS??

I LOVE YOU ALL AND I CANT WAIT TO SHARE MY GIFT WITH YOU,

IT REALLY  FRIKKEN DOES TASTE TOTALLY AWESOME AND GUESS WHAT? YOU DO GET A RUSH OF ENERGY FROM THE ALL NATURAL LIQUID VITAMINS I ADD, HERES A BONUS...++++ THERES NO CAFFINE, NO CHEMICALS, NO SUGAR,  SO, YAAAAH...

ITS IN MY OWN WORDS.. THAT IM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT IM GOING TO ROCK THE PLANET WITH THIS SUPER NEW ALL NATURAL ENERGY JUICE DRINK...

AND SO..... THIS IS THE "PLAN" OF MY MASTER...IAM

 PEACE TO YOU AND YOURS

 DEE DEE FOX 

 EL PRESIDENTE'

 HARD PLANET INC  

 GLOBAL 2008     

PS.  I ALWAYS WONDERED WHY MY MOM LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH

 (NOW I KNOW)  WE ARE ONE