My Story-part 3

Maybe I should make this a book lol. Telling my story is doing wonders for me at least. Well, Julie and I finally got together, married, and lived happily ever after. Not!!! Lol.

Well, needless to say I was on cloud nine for quite some time. I just could not believe someone as young and beautiful as she could be interested in me. Even though I saw that she had the same experience as me that first day in the bank, I just could not believe it! The next day I put a hundred dollar bill in that same envelope and wrote on the flap, "I'd like to hear about it." drove thru and asked for change, and sent the envelope to her. She sent me five twenties back in the same envelope, on which she'd written "I'd like to tell you about it, are you married?"

Talk about bursting my bubble lol. At this time Darlene and the kids were still with me. So I wrote Julie this long letter explaining my "situation" and telling her that I believed Darlene was going to leave, but I couldnt do anything until she made that decision and we were divorced. I put that letter in the envelope along with my check on friday and sent it through to her. It turned out she had done the same.

There was a three page letter in the envelope with my money when she sent it back. She told me that she was 26 years old, married and had a 4 yr. old daughter that meant the world to her, that she didnt love her husband, he was physically abusive to her but not to their daughter, but she couldnt leave him because she was terribly afraid of him and of being a single mother. So from then on we just wrote letters to each other every week. I would write her letters and poems telling her how beautiful and wonderful she was, and she would write me telling me how much joy I brought to her life, and no matter how bad things were at home she could always think about me and my letters and be happy again.

One day I went to the shopping center and was walking past the storefronts window shopping on my way to the music store, when suddenly there was my angel on the walk in front of me. I stopped totally paralyzed and she walked up to me and took my hand in hers, the electrical energy in that touch was unbelievable, and we just stood there looking at each other for an eternity. Suddenly, she looked around and said "I have to go" and she kissed me on the cheek and ran off back toward the bank (it was in the parking lot of the same shopping center), and I just stood there and watched her go.

Btw Darlene was long gone by this time, and I found out in my next letter that Julie's husband drove her to and from work, and that was why she had run off so hurriedly that day, she didnt want her husband to drive up and see us together. After that we would meet in the stores and steal a little time together between the time she got off and the time her husband picked her up. Was this wrong? Was this cheating? I didnt know, but I couldnt help myself and neither could she. This evolved to us sitting in my truck kissing and touching and holding each other.

She was the love of my life and I was in heaven just being near her. I affirmed to her how beautiful and wonderful she was with every word, every touch, and every kiss, and she was starved for it, and ate it up like manna from heaven. She told me where she lived and asked if I would like to join her in her morning jogs and I did and we had many wonderful breathless talks while jogging together, after which we'd steal a kiss and go home to shower and get ready for work.

I wonder now how much of this happiness we shared was due to the fountain of Love that was flowing inside me. She told me once that she wasnt the wonderful person I believed her to be, that she wasnt even a good person, but because of me she aspired to be that person, she so wanted to be that wonderful, beautiful person that I believed her to be. God I miss her so much sometimes.

One day Julie told me she had a younger sister who lived in Richmond Va., and that sometimes she would take a bus down to Richmond and spend the weekend with her. She told me that she was going to do that again the following weekend and wanted me to drive down and see her at her sisters apartment. I, of course, exitedly agreed. She gave me the address and directions and that weekend I drove down and met her and her sister.

I was so excited that I was finally going to be able to spend time with her. I took her out to dinner and she rode beside me in my truck, stuck right up against me with her arms around me, kissing me and nibbling on my neck, and I was just totally amazed that this could really be happening. She looked so beautiful sitting there beside me, what could she possibly see in me? I dont know, but it was the picture perfect dream of a lifetime for me.

After we ate we went back to the apartment and her sister informed us that she would be spending the night at a friends, and we would have the whole apartment to ourselves. After she left Julie took me by the hand and led me upstairs to the bathroom and began undressing. I stood there watching as if in a dream. When she was naked she turned and started undressing me as if it was the most natural thing in the world. After she had me undressed, she turned on the water, stepped in the shower, pulled me in after her and proceeded to soap and wash every inch of my body. Still in a state of trance I soaped and washed her body as well, then she turned off the water, dried us both off, and without a word led me into the bedroom.

It was the most wonderful and beautiful sexual experience of my life! She had no inhibitions, no sexual taboos, nothing about my body was dirty, or ugly, or disgusting, (as it had been to Darlene) she enjoyed it every bit as much as I did.  I told her about all those dark years with Darlene and how they had scarred me.  We made love there on the bed, on the floor, downstairs in the living room, outside on the fenced in patio, on the kitchen counter, every where and every way all night long. 

After that night I decided to do everything I could to help her get away from that big (6'-7"), bad, abusive man she was married to. Eventually she left him (without incident) and moved into an apartment not far from the bank, and when Kristina, her daughter was with her dad we would spend "nude" weekends at my house lol. That later became a tradition that we both looked forward to lol.

Now there were a lot of customers at the bank that thought Julie was just as beautiful as I did. She had lots of guys ask her out, and one day she asked me if I would be ok with her going on a date with one of them. I was mortified! No other woman in the world had any appeal to me. Didnt she experience that same love at first sight thing that I had? How could she even think about dating someone else? I never thought that she might need to see what else was "out there", or that I might benefit from that as well, but as I said, no other woman had the slightest appeal to me at that time.

This was my soul mate, the woman I was "destined" to spend the rest of my life with. I reluctantly told her that if that was what she wanted, to just go ahead and do it. I was visibly upset and she knew it, so she decided not to go out with him. A couple of weeks later she told me she was going out to dinner with Francis (her ex) to talk about Kristina because she was having a hard time with the divorce. I said ok, but inside I knew it was a lie.

On the night in question I parked in the apartment complex parking lot where I wasnt likely to be seen, but I could see her apartment door. A little while later a guy in a red pickup drives up, gets out, goes up the stairs and knocks on Julies door. She let him in and a little while later they left. Well, I was devastated to say the least, I just sat there in my truck until they returned, went up the stairs and went inside. I waited for him to leave but he didnt. I've never felt so betrayed, not even by Darlene and Dale, and I sat there all night struggling with those same dark emotions. I could see her in my minds eye doing the same things to him that she was only supposed to do to me.

When he left in the morning I went up and knocked on the door crying and when she opened it I told her I never wanted to see her again, ran, jumped in my truck and sped off. (Strangely, no clearing going on today, no emotional turmoil at all as I write this.) When I got home the phone was ringing. It was Julie and I hung up on her. I ignored the ringing of the phone, took my shower, got dressed and went to work. I told myself I had an important mission in this life, (though I had no idea what it might be), and that she was nothing more than a distraction. In this way I hardened my heart against her. I had no intention of ever seeing or talking to her again.

Well, she had every intention of seeing and talking to me. That evening she was parked in my driveway when I got home. I turned my truck around and drove off. She jumped in her car and followed me, and I realized I would have to talk to her, she just wasnt going to take no for an answer. I pulled in and parked at a park near my home. She parked beside me, jumped out of her car and into my truck. She was crying hysterically and reached out to me, but I yelled, "stay away from me, dont touch me, you lied to me." At which point I broke down and started crying hysterically myself.

She babbled on about how scared she was about committing, and how she wanted to see what else was out there, and how she knew it would devastate me, and that was why she lied to me, and when she heard me say I never wanted to see her again, she realized that she loved me with all her heart, and that she never wanted to lose me, and that she never wanted to be with anyone else ever again. Although everything she said made perfect sense all I could do was babble through my tears "you lied to me" over and over and over again. My heart was broken so completely, I didnt think I would never be able to trust her again.

That's about as far as I will go with the letters I wrote to Kandy. She got to read the whole sordid story in all it's sexually explicit detail, but that wouldnt be proper here. Suffice it to say that, during all those dark years with Darlene, I fantasized about a woman who would do the things with me that I had never experienced, and all the rest of the world seemed to be enjoying. In short I dreamed of having my own nymphomaniac lol.

The old saying, "be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it", played itself out in my life over the next five years.

I never really realized that nymphomania was a mental disorder, or at least the result of one, but I found out the hard way lol. Julie was only the second woman I'd ever had in my life, and I was woefully innocent in the ways of the world. She taught me many lessons that I needed to learn, as well as healed a lot of my pain and lack of self esteem. Our first couple of years together were perfect, but once she found out I had a mission in this life, it was all downhill from there.

To be continued... 

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Love and Light Always and All Ways