The Mind Bubbles

And so my awakening begins .........
So many books to read; they're all good; which one's to choose; which one's to omit.
And I read many, many ... and the messages are amazing and enlightening - lots to think about.
And I have much in life to be thankful for; many, many things are good, I am so lucky .... perfect health, financially stable, beautiful daughters, easy, well paying job, beautiful home, lovely country ..........
But I want more.
I am at peace and happy and cheerful .... but I want more - so am I really?
The Secret and Quantum Physics (my hobby) and other books and messages and the Law of Attraction all say that we create whatever it is that we desire (provided of course that it does no harm to anything/one in the Universe).
So I may have more; and I put my feelings out there - to create.
Why do I want more?
I want to do good and help others with the abundance that I have.
I have been single for 5 years; I do not like being alone; I am sometimes lonely; I want a partner, someone to love me and for me to love - having a loving partner doubles all pleasures and halves all pains.
And I have learned to speak to and ask help and guidance from and connect with my Angels and Spirit guides, teachers and helpers.
I have read more books on this, plus have packs of Oracle cards - many messages - this I do not do well, yet.
And I meditate - this I do not do well, yet.
I am tired of the lifestyle rut that I have been in for the past 16 months; say things day in and day out, yet nothing changes in my life - lots of thoughts, feelings, wishes, wants, meditation ...... nothing has changed, in the external world. Inside I have changed.
I know what it is that I want to do, but the materialistic world restricts, hinders, stops me.
I think - if where I want to go and what I want to do is good, why does it not happen - I think.
Every night I wake up in the small hours of the morning for an hour or two .... and I think.
I pay the bills, and think, and work, and think, and exercise, and think ....... about everything above, and more.
And so my mind bubbles.