response to Universal Determinism

Before having my present spiritual focus and broader perspective, I used to be quite interested in the idea of Universal Determinism. After some ThetaHealing work, my point of view shifted on the subject, but I didn't get to explore my new feelings in depth until I happened upon my friend's Universal Determinism blog. I felt compelled to respond with my new perspective and this is what I wrote.
Back to this stuff huh? Well I wouldnt say it needs to be disproved because it is a form of truth. It does however seem to be a truth from a perspective where mental energy is looped into rather frusterating, self-defeating, and useless patterns. I don't mean that as a disparaging comment in any way. After all, I ascribed to, or rather, focused my energy on this mental pattern for quite some time. Therefore let me not refute, but rather offer additional words and expansion to this concept of universal determinism.

One feeling the need to explore and explain this universal determinism is, in my view, coming from a place of despair. This despair may be obvious in the form of mental crisis due to an uncomfortable assimilation of the philosophy. It may also be far less obvious, as when the whole world view has been reshaped around universal determinism, irradicating the mental dissonence and even building a sense of pride upon the despair; upon the "true" understanding of the universe's clockwork nature and man's meaninglesses puppet nature. This pride is strongest when the philosopher projects the implications on other people, seeing how hopeless and blind they are to their own robotic nature. The pride tends to weaken, however, when the philosopher comes back to the recognition that he too is bound to it and that his acknowlegment of it gives him no true edge. The only difference his acknowledgement may have, at that point, is a mentally crippling effect. 

As an antidote to this despair, I would say that the only thing that matters is what is real and present for a person. In our human state, free will is real and present. We can't actually have a full conscious experience of universal determinism as being real and present, because we are given the experience of "choice" as our conscious reality. The only state in which universal determinism would be what was real and present would be a state of absolute universal awareness (of EVERYTHING all at once). 
We know even from our limited current science (of the astronomical scale and the quantum scale) that time and space are subjective illusions, so a state of absolute universal awareness (I'll call it AUA) would not experience these illusions as we do. Since our whole experiential(not abstract and theoretical) concept of reality is based on linear time and 3 dimensional space, it is futile to try to have an understanding equal to AUA, and it is silly to pretend that we share that experience of Universal determinism as being our real and present experience. 
The philosopher's sense of scale is too warped to have a true understanding of universal determinism. He doesnt know enough about what a person is on every level, what reality is on every level, or how deep they go to understand what universal determinism would actually look like or feel like in an experiential way. Its all theoretical for the philosopher and he is so limited in the concepts at his disposal, with which he can theorize. When he falsely and arrogantly applies these limitations to a picture of all reality (which he cant picture to start with) it creates despair. 
Universal determinism isnt something for a man to understand, so his small concept of it seems like tragedy. A state of AUA would experience Universal Determinism truely and fully, but such a state would not be one of despair, but one of bliss. I know this because the more truely aware I become of what is real and present, the more blissful I become.

Brief Summary: 
Universal Determinism -probably true but not in a way that a human can undersatnd or experience. Therefore it is, for the most part, uselsss to us a concept and certainly not worth obsession or despair. What is real and present (the full experience of the moment and choice in the moment) is a better source of truth with substance for us.