This is my life (3)

This is my second attempt to post part (3), obviously something I wrote before was not appropriate because it was lost.

We left Malta after living their three years, after parting with all my toys we returned to England to live with Grandparents for a while and my Dad went off to Gibralter or Egypt I can't remember which, he went to so many places. Living with Grandparents had it's good and bad parts to it. For starters I didn't know them, my Dad's Mum was a widow and had very strict houserules. My Mums parents however we a little bit different. They had nothing materially but the love was stronger there.

Over the next year or so, we drifted between them, my Mum tried to get my brother and I into schools and this meant a variety of different schools (in total I had around 11 -12 schools before I was 12 years old). Living in Yorkshire with my Mums parents was to give me an understanding of myself that I never expected. The people over the road were in the Salvation Army and on Sundays I was sent off with them to their church, just a little bit different to the Catholicism and Church of England churches I went to in Malta. I loved the tamborines and the joyful singing. I loved how they helped each other and raised money for the poor.

Meanwhile inside my Nans there was a different story, my Mum who was as I mentioned before was clairvoyant, and probably because I was getting old enough to understand, my Mum, Nan and neightours started staring into tea cups to read the tea leaves. I was fascinated and felt so grown up being part of it and I was encouraged to have a go. I discovered that my Great Grandfather had travelled from Ireland for work and my Great Grandmother who I am named after was a Tea leaf reader and from an old Gypsy family (I know this word Gypsy is an old term for traveller but as it involves me I think it is appropriate to use the word here - no offence meant to anyone who disagrees). My Great Grandmother had passed the gift to my Grandmother and in turn to my mum, now me. I watched in awe but in a way it felt quite normal for me to be doing this and didn't seem odd or bizzare in any way. I looked into the cups and saw shapes and images and thoughts came flooding to me, I had no problem at all even at 10 going on 11 in interpreting what I felt. I soon learnt that everyone else was reading the pictures and I have always played little emphasis on this still today, I always use what I feel and hear much much more.

My poetry started to flourish with neighbours asking me to write down what I wrote so that they could keep a copy, my poems were always about life, about my dad being drunk, about people with no homes, about being lonely etc. I still enjoy writing poetry and it was a real outlet for me as I was actually a very lonely and shy girl and obviously have no lifetime friends because we constantly moved. Needless to say my art, creativity and kindness always got me by whilst my maths, geography, history and so forth suffered. Today I see this as positive because I have no fear in going into unknown teritory, sitting with people I don't know or feeling scared of new situations the travel gave me such strength for later life. However if you asked me which way was north from where I am sitting, I probably would get it wrong. Partly I think this is because I don't think of the world as a box with controls and directions, I see it as infinity and beyond, it never made sense to me to put importance on direction. I always go though whatever jumps in front of me and if I fancy a little detour, off I go down that pathy for a bit. I won't be controlled like a compass.

It wasn't long before I was introuduced the Spiritualist Church as you may imagaine. One thing is certain about me, I sure got to know about alot of different religions The one thing that all these places had in common was about how to reach God. No I wasn't confused but still to this day, none of these places feels wrong or right to me, I have faith but it is such a mixture of everything I have learnt and everything I believe and I have cherry picked the bits that feel right and remembered the bits that don't quite fit. This confuses other people a great deal, but my spirit is strong and will thrive wherever I go to meditate of pray. The one thing I have found about Spiritualist Churches is that they never ever criticise or judge other religions and for that one reason only is why that Church feels closer to my values that most of the others. I also learnt that Churches are about the individuals within them not the shell in which they meet. "Never judge a book by it's cover" is such a good saying.

This background may help you to understand who I was to become later on. I still had to experience my first spiritual encounter which came to me when I was 11 years old (unless of course Casey my imaginary friend was my first). I will tell you about this in my next episode. I am trying to be open and honest with my story and know that we are all so different, but I would love others to start and share theirs, this is the secret to ultimate light I truely believe this.

Lets listen and respect each other for where we came from, and what we are here to do. We are all a team travelling together. Thankyou for reading my story and I am sending my love to all who do!