09/18/09 on 'twixt and 'tween.....with a side orderof befuzzlement

As I wrote to my dearest Lulu, I was stuck 'twixt and 'tween that day. On a threshold, like my mother, Brigid, born neither in nor out. I find it difficult to remain in my current world, the Traveler in me seeing far horizons , it's like I'm stuck in more than one place(dimension)simultaneously and vertigo ensues and all I want is to be alone. I find myself stepping back into myself, third person eye to watch, get weary of watching and want to move back where I am most comfortable, my Planck Barrier, as it were. Time starts and stops and rewinds and replays and I find myself,on Sunset Blvd, Norma Desmond in my dreams, rewinding, replaying, revisiting all my former roles, discarding and molting each identity, knowing intrinsically that they must integrate into the "role" of a lifetime,my lifetimes. At the moment still looking for the perfect script.