Bearing Up ~ Thankyou

I would firs
t like to thank all of you who have sent messages and for all of you who have read my blog entry. When we all spare just a little love and energy for each other in times of grief, hardship or worse ~ then I believe we all heal each other.

I had very crazy dreams last night ~ very disjointed. I will relate the odd parts that I can recall as I believe this is clearing the way for me. Firstly the main theme was finding the man I love. I met him in an almost Warriors type film set. I was running down a muddy road, with a female friend (it may have been my sister), it was dark but the road was straight and I just kept running. Then a man was whispering in my ear and asking me to join him. We left the road and sat chatting to two guys, my guy was kind but a bit wild. He was coming on to me. He was remarking on the clothes I was wearing and I was aware that you could see my underwear ~ but this was not intentional ~ just due to me having to crouch down and hide. Then the running on the road again. Then trying to catch a train/meet a train. I was on a station platform and going from train to train. Crossing the tracks and being yelled at. I was trying to find the train that had a certain person on it ~ that I needed to catch. I am now running again by the sea. I get to a T junction and the other road is a huge rushing river, towering above me and another train is coming along on top of the body of water. It starts to topple towards me and I run to avoid being crushed. There is then a very bizarre part with my brother and I hanging from a tree. I manage to break free and scream to him to do the same ~ but he just takes a sharp implement and cuts his head off and his headless body falls to the ground. I am terrified but know I must get away. I go back to see if I can fix him ~ I am scared and don't understand why he could not have broken free. Then I am in a long queue of people. A message is told to the first and asked to be passed along the line. I never got the message as some of the people in the line started to distort the message. Then the guy I had met on the road is there again ~ smiling at me. I am then in a cinema ~ it is crowded and I am in a small seat almost hidden. I try to adjust my sitting position to see what is going on. (I have been to this cinema/theatre before in my dreams) Next I am on a bus full of the people that were in the line with me. The bus is travelling too fast down a steep incline on a coast road. It approaches a corner too fast, there is a huge vehicle (like a train) coming in the other direction and the bus just crashes through the barrier and plumetts to the sea. I can see the rocks below and pray that we will miss them. I shout for everyone to stay calm. To breath calmly and when we hit the water to take a deep breath and to get out the bus and head for the surface. I do this and the next thing I am standing with a blanket wrapped around me and I look around and see my fellow travellers also there with me. Then there is a celebration and the road is being covered with green astro turf. A long green road going on forever and it is now daylight and the sun is shining. The shops are open. Also in my dream/dreams I am getting glimpses of small animals. I have had many dreams recently with small animals in. Kittens, puppies, etc. Can not remember how they came in my dreams last night.
I have to tell you that the last time I saw my father alive was on a railway platform. When my father first left and went to New Zealand I was so heartbroken. I felt as if I had failed him and that is why he had left. That he couldn't have loved me if he was going to go so far away. I remember him standing at the bottom of a hill waving goodbye. I then could never watch the film The Railway Children ~ I would crack when she waved goodbye to her father on the platform ~ a self fulfiling prophesy or premonision ~ I did wave the last goodbye to my Dad on the railway station.
I hope that you will not all feel that I am abusing this site by pouring out these emotions. But I want for everyone to feel that they can do the same ~ in as much as I know that this is not a councilling site ~ but the advice and love that I have received here is making me stronger and more able to love myself.
I have to leave now to go and see my son before he goes to football.
With much love and gratitude to you all my beautiful friends ~ Namaste ~Daphne