false thought

hello,
i have been rising up to the challenge of transforming old thought patterns and was wondering anyone could help me? i think this is one of the last stages of depression and i am really keen on clearing unhelpful baggage that ive developed over the years...
i tend to be very sensitive, to the point that people told me i take things too personally at my old work. i also grew up with very authoritarian, strict japanese parents which tends to make me scared of breaking rules and feel intimidated by authority. my depression has made my stress threshold very low right now, especially to things that feel i 'should' do and i havent been able to work these last 2 years because i feel so easily pressured by any person that is anything less than easygoing and kind. i think i felt emotionally abandoned as i grew up as noone really understood my world or comforted me, and so now i am in the habit of abandoning myself whenever someone (or me) thinks im not good enough.

one major belief i realised recently, was that i get upset when people dont seem to accept me - it began with me gradually disliking going to my partner`s sister`s place because she never talked to us and made me feel like we were invisible. so i just had to realise that i didnt need to give others the power to say whether they thought i was acceptable or not; that i already was. it took me weeks to realise this, after lots of meditating and thinking,...and so i was hoping there might be someone here who would be able to help me with this next big one which came up today:

i felt upset and a bit tight-chested, when my flatmate chastised me today for not taking his ayurveda herbs for my throat exactly as he had instructed (he had told me to take it 15 minutes before meals and not knowing the reason why, i took some before bed as well). what i reacted to was that he looked at me gravely and said he would only give me more if i agreed to take the remedy exacly as he instructed this time. i felt like i was being told off by a teacher, or by a granddad or something and i had to breathe to calm down my upset - it may have even been anger or shame, im not sure. i know that i react the same severe way whenever i feel dominated or controlled by people, especially if i can feel that they have no room in their energy to compromise, listen or be openminded.
my guesses are that i feel my existance is threatened or controlled by another, i hate feeling treated like a child and having no control...but im not sure what the deeper belief is there, and so i cant turn it around... i would really appreciate any thoughts or insight from anyone who might be able to see me better than i currently can!
thank you~