An experience I recently went through
My name is TJ, I'm 29 years old, white middleclass Sagittarian, and currently reside in the northeastern part of the U.S. (NJ). I've been a spiritual person my entire life, was raised Catholic but never felt comfortable with that path. I've always felt apart from those around me, never really fit in with "mainstream" culture and still have a hard time to this day. I have an extreme case of social phobia when I'm in the midst of those who I call the "sleepwalking masses", so I spend much of my time alone. I believe we're moving into 5th dimensional reality on this planet but being out and about drains my energy level and makes me feel depressed, so I tend to close up and stay to myself most of the time.
Earlier this year something happened to me that I wasn't at all expecting. I've always been highly intuitive but never thought I could experience what took place from February through May of this year. Much of it is now a blur but I'll try to describe it as best as I can.
It started in early February and began as a gradual feeling of what I can only describe as "hyper-confidence". Little by little I began feeling a sense of being "chosen". I kept asking myself "is it REALLY me"? I didn't understand what was taking place, but it only escalated. As the days wore on I started feeling an increasing surge of power. I suddenly felt nearly all-powerful and began performing rites and ceremonies around my house using sage, candles, etc. At one point I started believing that I was going to literally ascend out of my body to the next dimension of consciousness. I felt as though I was reaching a state of enlightenment and that the hour was "finally at hand". I actually thought I was about to be raptured up...literally. To this day I know it meant something very significant. I felt that profound insight was coming into my mind and that I was finding "primers" or something like that. I can't really articulate it well at this point as I no longer have that feeling of ascended spiritual power. All I know is that I felt chosen and extremely powerful. Almost messiah-like. It felt utterly momentous, as though the whole world was being affected by it.
As the days went by my dreams became more vivid and my surge of power remained intact. I continued doing blessings around the property. However I started becoming aware of another presence around me. I knew that there were evil entities surrounding me. I've heard that dark spirits attach themselves to powerful workers of Light to counter their efforts. So I continued on with the ceremonies and made offerings of tobacco down by my lake (I'm very intune with Native American spiritualism). I intentionally burned my hand with sage knowing it was a show of strength. I felt that I was being guided with these actions and I just "knew" at the given moment exactly what needed to be done. It was very spontaneous. I felt I was chosen for this task. So then one night I felt momentum increase and that the time was coming for me to perform an exorcism. I declared myself "the exorcist" and began challenging the dark forces around me. I felt all-powerful throughout this effort. I had absolutely no fear whatsoever, my will was utterly strong and I knew that I was a force of Light (Goodness) and that the dark ones knew my strength. These ceremonies went on for weeks at a time to the point where I could no longer sleep. I had to remain awake due to the intensity of what I was going through. During the thick of this I felt physical pressure around my mid-section as though the dark force was trying to crush or squeeze me. My abdomen and back felt this pressure quite acutely. The temptation to fear was strong but I resisted it all the way. I knew that I was deep within battle-mode. It felt truly enormous, as though I was fighting with ancient forces of darkness. I believe I was, in fact.
I don't want to ramble on too much more, but I need to gain some insight as to why I went through this, why I was chosen, and what the purpose of all this was. I need to understand how I attained that overwhelming feeling of spiritual ascension and what it could mean for my future. I honestly believe that we're now living in the "final days" of this age and that the age of Aquarius is just beyond the horizon, and that the forces of Light and darkness are engaged in battle right now. I believe that I was chosen to be a warrior for the Light during these final days to demonstrate that Goodness DOES indeed retain its power but now that I've performed this exorcism I no longer feel that momentum of power anymore. In fact I've been feeling very low, weak, and depressed lately...even after what I perceive as my victory. As the exorcism winded down, my feeling of power gradually faded as well. Now it's been a few months since it ended, I'm still trying to gain some insight into how (and why) this all happened to me, why it was ME who was chosen, and if this battle does in fact have something to do with the FINAL battle of good against evil. I believe I was ascending into 5th dimensional awareness in preparation for this fight against the dark ones. But why me?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I'd appreciate anything you might have to offer me in this regard.
In Love and Truth,
TJ WhiteWolf