Experiencing the dual self
I find myself moving from the truth of the cosmo egg which served temporarily to another new truth where the concept of duality does not exist. Its a state where there is no such concept as "existance" or "non-existance", there is no I AM, or I AM NOT-
The best way to probably explain it would be in terms of an example: Say one is trying to explain dark green and light green to someone who only knows the concept of green or only knows the concept of colour- how is the other person supposed to imagine dark green and light green where in his truth, it is unimaginable. Similarly, with the concept of duality which seems to be fading away, where there is no judgement and no 'thinking' of existance or non-existance- the concept simply isnt thought of- therefore ceases to exist.
In this truth, the higher self is using the body as a vessel to complete its work on earth and to experiment. (Similar to controlling a puppet in a game and experimenting what will happen under certain conditions- the 4 stages of evolution- and pushing the puppet to its limits each time to see how much stronger and well controlled it is). The concept seems harsh to the ego but at the same time in more control to the higher self.
Visual images: 2 images facing each other but not made of light- just thin paper. one is white, the other is black. The black has a faster pace in general and has skills to respond quickly like those required in knife fighting. The white is more rounded - oysters, mother pearl image comes to mind. The two face each other but are not 'one' with each other as the ying and yang. I stand taking a view at them, but unable to find myself in either. Im not between them or in any of them or a combination of them. The concept of existance and non-existance does not exist.
Poetry -unknown source: One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to a fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their guns and shot each other
The words keep coming to my mind as if the fight is between the ego and higher-self. Not a 'fight'- but just the ego struggling to believe that its purpose is to serve the higher self. Also feels like two different polarities, black and white figures at extreme ends keeping seperate but 'facing' each other to draw a conclusion. The last line feels as if the situation is created merely by manifestation- 'drawing' becomes the 'reality', similar to how our thoughts are what we manifest. Its similar to the ego creating thoughts that are negative against the higher self, and an internal conflict (as opposed to internal dialogue) where the higher self pushes the ego away, saying it will take no more, enough is enough.
Would appreciate your views or comments to this reality and if anyone else seems to be experiencing the fading of duality