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Recommended Reading:
The Tao of Physics,
The Descent (not entirely spiritual, but has a lot of intruiging ideas),
Anything involving the concept of technological singularity,
Spiritual Path:
traveller healer, seeker of understanding
Interests:
The nature of the universe, and everything that encompasses
The origins of sentience (and civilization).
Universal Creativity vs Individualism, and the balancing of of both.
Basically, I'm interested in ideas. I see my mind as a home, and myself as the host, ideas are my guests, and I try to welcome them all and take in the big picture they create as best I can.
I'm interested in intense discussion. I enjoy being challenged. I enjoy having my core beliefs shaken, and I enjoy people who can handle an open minded back and forth of that nature without feeling attacked.
I want to learn. I am new to this part of myself, and open to guidance and ideas
Creating:
I'm hoping that years from now my current endeavor of learning to fly aeroplanes will take me elsewhere, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
I intend to travel, (in all my dimensions) to experience as much as I possibly can of the world (and all its dimensions), for my own personal understanding and benefit.
I have in past years quieted these thoughts because they led to a lot of hopelessness through most of my life, but I've always had this strong feeling like I'm special, like I'm going to do something, or be involved in something, that changes minds, that heals lives. I want to create universes. I want to feel at home in a state of insecurity. I want to give grace to my world, in whatever menial ways I am capable of. This is something that has been a part of me since I was born, and I've never identified with, for fear of failure. But regardless of how I feel about it, it has always been there, and I expect always will be
Awakening:
I'm fairly new to the concept of being open to my spirituality. I was very depressed and closed off from a lot of things for most of my life, up until sometime around when I was 18. I was always a deep person, but in a more intellectual, philosophical sense. I shunned "god" (or whatever you would like to call the driving and binding energy of our universe) and as a result shunned an entire dimension of my existence, while perpetually feeling empty and lost, searching tirelessly for reasons why.
I'm not sure if I can call it a revelation, because I have many mini-epiphanies on the topic (and others) frequently, so its hard to distinguish one singular instant of insight, it tends to come to me more in chunks, usually out of order. anyways I'm digressing, so, around the age of 18 there were a few events and ideas that sort of entered me and fit together and completed a portion of my puzzle.
firstly, this movie I watched called "What the F#@#! do we know?" which is basically a documentary about everyday mysticism, the nature of reality, and the human input and influence over it. They interviewed people ranging from quantum physicists and eccentric professors, to buddhist monks, and a psychic supposedly channeling a guru (I say supposedly because its impossible to know either way, not that I am opposed to the notion, but a lot of people will do a lot of ridiculous things for attention)
Secondly, I had experimented with a few hallucinagens at the time, and had some incredible experiences with nature, and the universe.
Thirdly, I had already been seeing synchronicities for as long as I have memory, but around that age I begun to see a lot more connecting and intertwining in reality than I had before. All these little coincidences that it seemed no one else was paying attention to. I started to get this overwhelming sense that they had something to teach me, and that they had answers (at this point I realize that the quest for answers is a futile one. answers are ideas, and those come to you when they please, not at your will)
and fourthly after being interested in philosophy for a few years, I had come to the conclusion that the vast majority of philosophers are depressed, and a good chunk of them have killed themselves, and thusly I started to read and be open to more things anti philosophical, like meditation, the concept of no-mind, etc.
so all of these things, and probably countless more little ideas and thoughts that had floated into me all clicked, im not sure if it was all at once, but they clicked, and I realized the insanity of searching for answers in thought, to a problem written in emotion and experience of reality. Thought is the anti-reality. Thought is a place I go to escape what I have to /do/ in reality, and as such, will never bring fulfillment, only distraction, and that is why I am open to my spirituality at this point.
wow, I wrote a lot to explain so little, but anyways, thats when
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