On Gratitude.

This morning I am not sure where this is going to take me - my words. Words are powerful and I have found during these past few days, once again, very healing... to say what is inside of me.. the hurt, the anger but also the love and the happiness and the gratitude. Today, mostly is about Gratitude and change of perspective and living what you 'preach' to others.

I am sooooo over things and people smacking into me... I have recently moved for the third time in 15 months. My new house has a security gate - a temperamental one... about a week after I moved in, I came home one day, pressed the button on my remote for the gate to open and instead of opening, it fell over. Fortunately away from the car. It was so heavy, I could not lift it back onto it's track again and had to leave it there. I reported it to the leasing agent and prayed that somewhere along the line someone would pick it up. Someone did... A few days later, as I was going out the gate it decided to close and smacked into the drivers side of the car. Missing me by Centimeters. The whole of the wheel well was dented in. I got such a fright and was so scared and worried as to what I was going to say to my almost ex husband since the car I am driving is actually his. It occured to me, to try and dent it back out again. Maybe it isn't all that bad. I did - with my bare hands and even though there is still a dent there, it wasn't all that bad. Then finally, yesterday, someone backed into me after going into a parking bay and deciding to back up into the one behind without actually checking to see if there was any traffic comming from both sides... When he got out of his car, the first words out of his mouth was... 'What were you doing there?' This is the second time in my life those words came at me after someone smacked into me. I wonder, 'How does one answer that politely?' The first time the rest of what followed was, 'I thought you had left.' Yesterday it was, 'I didn't see you, you weren't comming from my left side.' I was to shacken to appreciate the humour in this.. considering, his left side was the direction I was traveling in and that comming from his right side, was perfectly legal and acceptable. Anyhow... after much crying and tooing and fooing in and effort to repot the accident, I came to a point where I did ask the question... What am I doing wrong to attrack all of this in my life? Everytime it is the drivers side and every time the collision missed me by mere centimeters... What is the lesson in all of this?

I teach study skills and attitudes to teenagers / high school students and had difficulty in trying to explain to them what an attitude is and what it means to change your attitude. One particular day I was becomming a bit frustrated as to how best to explain this very abstract concept, when I shook my head and my sunglasses (which I had forgotten was on my head because I was wearing them like an Alice band) slipped over my eyes and it dawned on me... An attitude is something that 'colours' your out look on life, much like sunglasses colours the shade of everything you see... It klicked with the kids. They understood and since then, I have been teaching my courses with Sunglasses on my head... every time one of them goes BUT MISS.... it is so difficult or it is borring or whatever - I point out their negative attitude and try to give them alternate positive attitudes. Yesterday I was midsentence - My catch phrase has become - 'If you don't like the view - change your shades.' when I realised that that was my problem. I need to change my perspective but I was so tired that I couldn't take the next step into finding that positive attitude/perspective. During a break I meditated.. mostly to centre myself because I was struggeling to concentrate. Earlier that day, I had a conversation with someone I care about deeply and who has walked this long road with me for a while... Her words came back to me.... 'See it as you being protected by your guardian angels. You are not alone, You are safe, you are protected.'

This morning I can look at that dent and rejoice in gratitude. It is a sign (albeit a very heafty sign) of me being safe and protected and supported.

A final word on Gratitude.

To all of you who have read my past few blogs and commented and responded with so much support, love and prayer. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. The response was humbeling and filled me with Gratitude. I tried responding to all of you privately, but if I skipped you I appologise. Your contribution was no less valued

Love and light
Joyce