Feeling utterly beaten

I have to say, I feel utterly beaten. I've been trying to understand why so many report feeling great surges of positive energy whereas since the beginning of September I have just felt totally depleted on a whole new level- when I thought I could sink no further. The best part of my day is when I am asleep. I am just so tired of waking up to the same old nothing day in day out, pretending to be functioning normally and trying to keep my spirits up- that in itself is a full time job which leaves me exhausted. Most of my time is spent helping my Mother and Brother fix up their homes, which keeps me occupied and distracts me from dwelling on how utterly empty my own life seems. My reality seems like something that no longer supports me or resonates with me in any way- whenever I interact with it I seem to be back in the struggle and that's something I refuse to engage in anymore. I've tried contacting guides/ my higher self for some kind of insight or feeling of something- but I get nothing. I've been going through a dark night of the soul experience since spring of '07- and there doesn't seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel for me and lately it just seems worse. I feel totally abandoned. I know all about the exercises I can do to raise my vibration/ try and be thankful, etc but none of it seems to be working any more when I can summon the energy. I just seem unable to shake off the apathy. I just drag through each day. But I'll just keep going any how- towards what, I don't know anymore. I hope something good and soon.