my life only gets better: a hodge podge of a couple to three life experiences in the past days

as some may have read, i had a rough patch in my charity work. but now, i'm back with a vengeance! lol. hehe. in a positive way of course.

i went to fully booked, serendra. i went to the new age/occult section. it has been a while since i have visited that place. and usually, when i go there, nothing is new. and because it has been a while since i have been there, i already forgot what floor the new age/occult section was. but then something weird happened. i looked at the traveling section and then the plaque of the back of the traveling section stated "new" but then, it quickly disappeared.

i was with my best friend at that time and she saw the shock on my face. hehe. then i told her, "errr... let's go here" and then i have found the new age section AND LO AND BEHOLD... THERE WAS A HAVEN OF NEW SPIRITUAL BOOKS ON THE SHELVES... TAROT CARDS AND SO FORTH! I LOVE IT! hehe.

i bought the books of "angel signs" and "goddess afoot!". i also bought a voodoo doll kit to give to my sister as a present. lol. i also bought one book for my nephew, francis. it was a sticker book and he really liked it. hehe.

anyway, after getting those books... i started reading them and got inspired by them. so, i went to my online yahoo group and started tinkering with the calendar. i placed some new "guardian angel of the day" and "goddess of the day" reminders there. of course, the information came from the angel signs book and patricia telesco's (god and goddess bless her soul! lol) 365 days with the goddess, despite what other critics would say i love this book! hehe.

i also started researching about angels and created text files in the group as well. of course, i placed there who was the author and what was the link to their sites. hehe. i also started researching for meditations, videos and so fort. articles!

it was really nice for me, doing all these things! i mean, i felt more involved in the group that i have made... and i also felt that the group is improving even more, even when i thought that it can't get any better. lol.

anyway, during those times, i was also busy typing papers for my marketing class. unfortunately, my partner cannot help as much because he has work and was taking four subject. i, on the other hand, am a freelance painter-artist, charity worker, lightworker and only has two subject per week to deal with. i have made 3 case studies, a UAI study and a protype of the product we are going to present.

it was kind of irritating at first because, i'm really having a hard time with it. it was very boring. lol. but, with the grace of GOD, GODDESS and the angels, i was able to finish it beautifully and just as i have expected it... PERFECTION. lol. in my own standards of course. because it's very me. hehe.

another irritating thing... when i asked him if he could help me with the marketing research, he said that he doesn't know how to do it... and i'm like... GOOD GOD/DDESS... YOU SHOULD AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO TRY TO KNOW. I MEAN, DOES HE THINK THAT I ALSO USED TO KNOW WHAT I'M DOING WITH THE FOUR PAPERS THAT I HAVE MADE IN TWO WEEKS? I DID EVERYTHING FROM SCRATCH AS WELL... AND THE DIFFERENCE IS I TRIED TO KNOW... THIS GUY, WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE LISTENING TO THE TEACHER MORE THAN ME, DOES NOT KNOW... AND BASED ON HIS REPLY, IT SEEMS LIKE HE STILL WANTS ME TO DO IT...

that was crappy... but oh well... i just felt that this interesting situation pointed out the fact that i can do a lot of things. WITH or without a partner. OR i can actually carry the whole group on my shoulders and that's how strong i am really.

another random event that i would like to share is that... an old crush of mine, Ryan... appeared in my life again. you see, i thought he and i had a connection and then through a spell i have realized that he's really not as interested in what was happening... but then there was an option of casting a growing relationship spell, so that we will both be given opportunities to see each other and learn more from each other... but because of great heartache, i casted that out of negativity... i casted it to make me see that whatever i do, this spell will not work.

but then, it has. and because it was casted with negativity, it bounced back to me in a very interesting manner.

you see, before, i have casted a true love spell and there were two guys that would always immediately pop up in my life --- Jett and Andro. unfortunately, these men were not for my taste... so i casted it again after it faded out. same result. i casted again... same result. and so, i decided to give Jett, a chance... and we went out on a date. (andro is a bit... well touchy and i don't like that.)

after a series of dates, there were times that i just felt that i was just dragging myself into the date... it was interesting and it went on and on and time flew by but... whenever i would put my reality goggles on... i'm like... he's really not my type. he's a boy and i wanted a man.

what do i mean by that? i want a man that would tell me that he loves me... it's either black or white for me you know? it's either you love me or you don't. if you give me a gray answer, it still means a no. it's easier that way for me. i can easily move on and save more time for me to find the right guy.

going back, it seems like he and i, despite me not being that involved in the whole date thing so much... are developing... and he even proposed that we start dating exclusively.
i freaked out because i know that it was just the spell. i turned him down nicely and immediately and we then resumed to the whole friends thing.

he even told me that he is not "in love" with me yet... just a like.

nevertheless, i knew that it was the growing relationship spell backfire...

and then after two months of that hoopla... ryan appeared to me. i ended my contact with him after i have realized that he's not as invested in the connection as me... and then, i'm thinking... oh my gosh is there a part 2? in the whole backfire?

during those months, he never went online in yahoo messenger. he rarely messages me... and then after two months, i messaged him and he replied enthusiastically. but i ended the conversation after two lines and told him that i want to go to bed... it was the truth but, i must say that it was because i don't want anything to grow between us anymore.

i must admit that during those two months, after i turned jett down, i felt whole in myself. you know? it was the first time in months that i was not looking for my next love... yes. i became desperate at a point! lol. i was content in being single and i was enjoying the freedom... and now this! lol

so i guess... the lesson here is... the relationship that needs to grow... is not really with another person... but with myself. hehe. and the angels taught me that in the way that i totally understand ... through life experiences and life mistakes.

love and light