Simply Speaking My Truth on a Controversial Topic ..My Own Personal Story

I have decided today to speak out on the controversial topic of marijuana. First I will say that I used to use a great deal of drugs in my youth, and drank my fair share. I quit using all drugs at the age of 24, and became a rare social drinker.

I went through some counseling for personal issues not related to my substance use and as a result decided to go to college for Psychology so I could give back, what I had received in abundance from my own counselor. I was driven, I wanted to help others as she had helped me. She had literally changed my life in ways I never thought possible. Or perhaps a better way to say it is, she showed me how I could change myself for the better.

What I hope I embodied when I worked as counselor after graduating college in 2000. Yes, I was an older student who went back to college. I began at age 29 to get my BA degree. Once I graduated it took about 6 months to get a job, the first job I was offered was very close to home and was for substance abuse counselor. I happily accepted the job. I had a great deal of experience I felt I could help teach others, and I did. I am very proud of the work I did as a counselor. I have no doubt that I helped many people change their lives for the better, some have given me the credit for saving their lives, I always did my best to remind them they did the work to get there I only gave them the tools they needed.

I worked as SA counselor for a year, got laid off, and worked for a Developmentally Disabled couple for a year, then found another counseling job where I stayed for 5 yrs working with those with chronic mental illness/ plus another part of my job was to teach classes to DUI offenders. I was passionate, and a loud advocate for my clients..and anyone who knows me knows I have a big mouth at times :)

So, basically you could say I spent approx. the last 16 yrs. being against drug use of any kind. I preached it with the utmost sincerity to all my clients for 7 years, and I believed it myself with all I knew at the time. I bought into that illusion and that is one that the major majority of all humanity believes as well. I am here to attempt to shatter that illusion.

I continue my story...

While I was still a counselor at my last position I met man I began to date, who just happened to smoke marijuana. I accept others as they are, I do not tell them they have to change for me and I accepted this as well. Just as he accepted the fact I was a counselor and did not agree with the use of drugs of any kind, so of course he never asked me to use, never used in my presence, and never had it with him when he was with me. Those were the rules.

We dated for about a year, I was in the midst of my 'dark night of the soul' as I have heard it referred to and it seems to fit the experience, and I truly needed some relief from all I was experiencing so I asked to smoke some with him once. It gave me such relief I had not felt in months. I was in physical pain from my ascension symptoms, crying sometimes for hours at a time what I term 'soul crying' coming from a place so deep inside me. It felt like I was crying for centuries of pain. Oh I should also mention I am an extremely sensitive person, some call it an Empath. Also during this time my own psychic abilities, were going truly kooky on me and I had no control over when things would hit me. I was simply a mess.

I began at that time to use marijuana occasionally and have continued since that time. I now have a new perspective on this wonderful plant that God/Goddess placed here for us on Earth.

With this one plant I have did a complete 180 degree turn in what I now believe to be truth. This plant has allowed me to ease my physical pain when needed, to allow a creative side of myself to blossom in a way I have never been able to do. I do NOT mean these benefits are Only when I am 'high' on the plant. I have many many spiritual revelations about myself, which allows me to release so much emotional baggage I have carried with me. Sometimes, those revelations happen when I am high, sometimes when I am not. But, the plant allows that side to flow easier.

I am not here to convince you of my truth. This is my truth. But, I do believe the plant marijuana has aided me in so many ways to allow this process of ascension to move easier in my life.

You may be wondering, did she start using while she was still a counselor? Yes, I did. Began in Dec. 06, and by Oct. 07 I had so much awareness that I could see so much that was truly out of alignment with who I am, I just could not stay any longer. I began to see how so many of the clients are used as guinea pigs for drug companies. I am not speaking of every agency, only the one's I am personally familiar with. But, in my experience the doctors were always so ready to change the clients meds, just because something new came out. Then they wanted me to go and tell people they couldn't smoke a plant that grows naturally in the wild, and has wonderful benefits physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I just found that for me personally I was living a lie, I no longer wished to live. There is more within the mental health field which also no longer aligned with me I won't get into here. I had more than one reason to leave my field.

My whole point in writing this is just to allow others to see a different perspective on a topic I feel is shoved under the rug entirely too much on this planet.

I wanted to bring this awareness into the open, because it exists within me.

Much love,

Sheila