self-acceptance

i've come to a point in my life where i can no longer live in the realm of the expected. it's so mundane, it drives me mad when i try to conform. it just isn't me. i don't buy into the north american 'dream', i'll make my own, thank you! so, i guess this means, i'm finally accepting myself for who i am and the gifts i carry!!!!!! i've let the universe know (it took some work and patience), and i can't believe the abundance that is coming in so many different forms. just this week i met the first serious student i've had in over 7 years: one of my LEE auction items was purchased in support of this web-site: my conflict management mentorship got underway (even got business cards!): and i welcomed the masculine back into my life! no, i didn't find a man, i'm great just how i am! but my new student is male and it feels really great to feel safe around a male again! our first lesson amazed me, i didn't get too hot and woozy working with him. i genereally haven't been able to work with males for a long time because of my reaction. this signals a huge shift for me! another great part of my self-acceptance - i'm remembering what safe feels like! perhaps i'll even relax? i think the best part is how alive i feel, all aglow from walking my path. i've found myself losing the feeling and being able to notice the shift and remember to pull myself back into the glow. maybe i won't be depressed anymore either? so how'd i do it? i gave up trying to find a 'job', created a niche for myself in a couple different areas and now i'm on the road to self-sufficiency.

yes, that means i am accepting payment for my spiritual services. it's taken me a long time to understand that it is okay for me to do this. if i am to walk my walk, this is how it has to be. Spirit guided me to this place and i will not argue. i've read some posts that indicate people feel 'disappointed' when we suggest a rate for services and i need to say that i am not responsible for your feelings. i am a very old soul who has walked the planet in many forms, i have had to adapt to all types of situations in order to survive (i've been struck down by the system more than once). this time around,it is essential for my family's well-being that i adopt the modern market economy (i prefer the barter system, but it's not easy to make your way like that anymore). if you have a problem with that, keep it to yourself. i do not care to be judged any longer!

anyway, just wanted to share some joy with you all. it's been a long hard road, but i'm here, i'm happy and i accept myself and my gifts!

many thanks to those of you who have supported me on my journey.

much love an many blessings to you all,

emelar