Commercialized Spirituality

Often, as I visit this site and others of like, I will find myself feeling disappointed as I notice the subtle and sometimes not so subtle promotion of one's spiritual gifts in exchange for money. I believe there is no disappointment w/o expectations so I am attempting to explore what those expectations are and why I find it difficult to release them. A facet of myself that I've had as a significant life lesson is the perfectionistic idealist. LOL.....like I think I know how everything should be and I'm not going to be satisfied until it gets that way. Thankfully I became aware of this sometime ago and have been able to release most of it. There is also a part of me that REALLY wants to make this about THEM. However I believe everything is as it should be and that a gift is being presented to me by the universe if I work thru this life lesson.
I think that whenever I encounter something that I believe is ego/fear driven that I automatically am skeptical of it. And, I believe that promoting one's 'gifts' in exchange for money is ego/fear driven. It's not the receiving of abundance by others that I find difficultly with, it is the PROMOTION I have trouble with. So, I am automatically skeptical of postings that I find connected to "spiritual enterprise". I understand that we all have basic needs that must be met in order to be able to share our gifts. We live in a money driven, customer based, global economic system and I believe it won't always be as such. I'm just having a hard time w/ this.
Perhaps my passion for helping others comes into play in this. I've learn, many times, that when I find something unacceptable in another that it is a result of something mirrored in me. I've had many job situations that involved working in the helping profession and often found that some compromise was required of me in order to continue to do so. Hmmmmm....perhaps it tis myself that I find the anger connected to. Damn, why can't it be about THEM, LOL.
I will say that just the other day I contacted a young lady that I'd encountered on this site. Through the past few months I had always found her posts as being very spontaneous and of LOVE. They never rang of being contrived or w/ ulterior motives. I noticed she had a website and visited it and experienced synchronicity of a quantity that I could not miss. She offered services and posted a price for each. So my pattern of red flags going off occurred and I went back to her profile and explored a bit more. Nothing in her posts or profile spoke of attempting to 'bait' those "seeking". So I wrote to her and spoke of the events that led to that point and told her I would be in contact again soon in order to make use of her services. My intention continues to be to do so.
I suppose one most listen to their own vibrations and act accordingly. I am grateful for those that do as they do, whatever that might be. My intention is to be Love and any judgment on my part prevents this. This post is to be a tool for myself to continue the journey inward.......and I believe it has been useful for I intend to forgive myself for my past compromises and my judgment will cease. :)

Namaste,
Mark