lets burn something

with the pallette clear my hindsight becomes an artist. seeing the past as a moving entity. sometimes I catch myself reminiscing about pain. I can feel the pull of it. it represents a certain intoxicating quality of life. most of me is well over that shit though. exploring the intensity of imperfection. or exploring imperfection intensely, the fragmented nature of being.

pain is......

pain is humanity, this I can most plainly see. as we are born so shall we die. the inbetween a blank page. but that blank page is not flat, even though most people treat it that way. the pervading thought is that life is a story that can be written with a beginning and an ending. I say if you can write your life on paper there hasnt been much life in your living. the depth of my pain effects me every moment of everyday. the depth of my pain allows me to be far away and very here at the same time. there is no joy without vunerabilty. it seems to me the only way to be vunerable is to experience the pain of this world and become conscious of the wisdom contained within it. we have this reactionary stance to pain. now that I think about it, I believe it is the basis for this false reality that we call 'adulthood'. instead of evolving consciously beyond reacting to pain the world created this retarded idealism about how we are supposed to act when we become a certain 'age' to stop ourselves from 'acting' like children. truth is that we still use our system of reaction that was grown within us as children even though our heads want us to be 'responsible'. so what do we do? we kill the 'child', which is your true nature, and adopt this numb approach to life. thats why I cant stand society, Im just figuring this out. its like a virus, the more you are around sheep with that program installed in their system the more you are likely to conform to that dsyfunction. and it truly is dsyfunction. dont know how to tie your shoes? cut your feet off. lately these concepts literally make me want to vomit. Its very odd, I feel more like an alien then I ever have and yet I also feel more at home. Lets burn something.