just writing

Sometimes writing just makes me feel better. In fact, on reflection, that is the only reason I write. It helps me to feel more at ease and more comfortable when the energies feel hard on me. Expressing myself. Putting my energy out there and leaving myself open. It can help me sometimes.

Even though I believe most of us are here because we want peace and joy, the number of approaches and strategies for acheiving peace and joy are countless. Me and Jenn are very different in lots of ways, but one of the things that binds us is our approach and strategy for achieving peace and joy. We look at things the same way, and on the unusual occasion that we see things differently we sit down and talk about which of our perspectives is most conducive to peace and joy. Peace and joy is always the goal for us. We consistently look at what we are creating. Its not always easy, because we both still have a pattern of believing that who we are is not 'good' enough. So if one of us points out to the other that what is being created might not be conducive to peace and joy, sometimes it is taken as a personal criticism and a judgment on 'who we are'. When its not. We kind of liken it to the metaphor of making a tasty cake. There are times when Jenn might see me putting pepper in the cake, in which case she might say to me, "Andrew, are you sure you want to put pepper in the cake? We have made peppery cakes before and we didnt like them!". And I might ignore her because I am attached to putting pepper in the cake and we end up with a pretty shit tasting cake, but more often than not these days, if one of us sees the other about to put pepper in the cake then we will sit down and discuss it first. To me, its the same with creating peace and joy. I do believe that there are some ways that are more effective than others for creating peace and joy. And if I turn around and say, "hang on, is what you are doing creating peace and joy for you?" then to me, thats not a judgment on the person. Its merely questioning the strategy and approach that is being used.

I do believe that here on the site we are a bunch of people seeking peace and joy. Some are seeking it for themselves, some are seeking it for the world, and some are seeking it for both self and world. I take the approach and hold the perspective that it is only through working on myself that I can achieve peace and joy. I have noticed that when I concern myself with the peace and joy of the world, I am no longer in peace and joy. Maybe it is an approach that could be labelled as 'selfish', but I believe that joy and peace has to begin at home. In fact I believe that it can ONLY begin at home. And from there it spreads outwards like a light that burns brighter and brighter. When I concern myself with someone else's light I end up neglecting my own. That doesnt mean my energy is not affected by what is going on around me. Far from it. I am EXTREMELY sensitive, although you might not guess that from the way I talk. My sensitivity is part of the reason that I sometimes write blogs which might be seen as trouble making. My energy is very intwined with that of the website, and its often my way of protecting myself energetically to write a strong blog. Until we are all ascended there is always going to be attempts to control the energy of the website. Thats no bad thing, its inevitable! We are all healing ourselves, and when fear comes up there is always a level of control that comes with it which gets played out on the website. My way of dealing with it sometimes is to push back - like I said at the beginning, the reason I write is to help myself to be more at ease.

This is one of the few occasions in which I have written without having a clue as to what I want to say or where this is going. I know there has been something that I have wanted to say for a couple of days now, but it hasnt felt quite right for whatever reason. I still dont know whether to say it. It wont be popular. But should that be a reason for not saying it? Part of my difficulty is that I like a lot of people here and I know of at least some that like me, and I have a pattern of fear of not wanting to upset them. Its far easier for me to be comfortable upsetting people that I dont really connect with anyway. Part of me wants to say, "Please dont like me, because you will only end up not liking me if I stand fully in my truth". Guess there is some more healing to be done for me. This website has played a huge part in helping me to resolve my fears of standing in my truth, but there is always more to be done. Until there is not.

I still dont think I am going to say what I have been wanting to say, I guess its not the time yet, maybe it never will be. Maybe one of the points of this blog has been to say to people that all I am ever really trying to do here is offer an approach and a strategy to achieving peace and joy. Do I think its the most effective one? Honestly? Yes I do. In the end I actually think its the only one that really works. And its really simple. The strategy is: find out what is stopping you from being in peace and joy and then release it. Ultimately it always boils down to one thing. Fear. At least part of the challenge is finding out what we are scared of! And then the next part of the challenge is facing it. Ultimately I believe that very few people here will have a choice in the end about facing the fear. Its what we are here to do. When that will happen for each of us is anybody's guess. All I can continue to do is do my own best to work on myself and get as comfortable as I can with all that is going on. And I might be wrong that my strategy is the only one that really works. If there is anywhere to discuss strategies and approaches for achieving peace and joy, then this is the place to do it.

So I guess thats it. Im still not really sure what Ive said but it doesnt really matter does it. I dont even know if Im going to send this yet. If my finger hits the send button then I guess I am. Hope the energies are treating you all kindly.

Yours in joy,
Andrew

www.healingunlocked.com