My first meditation (in a while)...

Last night, I came home from a very unsatisfying guitar lesson and felt very imbalanced. It had been a long day, in a session of long days filled with drama from work, finances, infatuation and indecision about the future. Frankly, my head was spinning and all I needed was sleep. However, I had to return several phone calls before I could achieve that goal. (Do you ever notice the nights you are most tired is the time everyone and their mother decide to call?)

In the midst of returning phone calls, getting comfortable in my pajamas and drinking grapefruit juice, I had an almost physical urge to meditate. Frankly, it has been awhile since I performed this activity because of lack of time, laziness as well as fears I had described in a previous post which have now subsided. It has the last activity I wanted to do, but the feeling to meditate was so strong, I felt like it was something my body, spirit and mind desperately needed.

I went to my 'meditation space' which is pretty much a shelf with objects, stones and candles that make me feel happy and safe, offered a prayer requesting protection, envisioned myself surrounded by white light, closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. It was odd how quickly everything fell away and I felt like I was sinking into myself away from all the issues and stresses which had been plaguing lately. Next, I felt my primary guide sitting next to me and her first words were, 'Welcome back.' Then, I felt like we began to exchange energy or light or something. Basically, I imagined her sitting in across from me and I would inhale and exhale and that energy would to go her. Then, as I inhaled, I felt like she was taking the energy from my exhale and returning it to me only the energy was cleansed, lighter and purer. Meanwhile, I felt my body fill white light and my chakras being cleaned. The next thing, I knew I was envisioning walking up some stairs and found myself talking with what seems to be my 'higher self' and my primary guide.

My higher self looked a lot older than I imagined her in the past. Frankly, I always saw her as someone my age: just more attractive and wiser. In this meditation, she looked like an older woman with the most striking eyes and energy I have ever encountered. We spoke about how I had become grounded in the external areas: my relationships, making peace where I am, who I am, life mission and what my mission is here to do. (I still need to do much work in these areas, especially in terms of ego. Yet, I am comfortable with myself and starting to look inside for happiness then from outside distractions- for the most part). However, I had to now strengthen my spirituality. From my understanding, I must make staying in touch with my spirit and the presence of the higher power a priority. As everyday stresses and hardships consume us, we forget who we are: spiritual beings. To remind ourselves, we must take time to remind ourselves through meditation, connecting to nature, making/listening music, etc. For me, the more I do this, I was told my intuition and other '6th sense abilities' will begin to increase. Then, my potential will begin to unfold.

I am not sure why I decided to share this experience, but figured it might be helpful for someone else to be reminded of this information. On a personal level, I know now I need to obtain the discipline to meditate more as I move along my spiritual path. It seems I have hit a plateau and now it the time to get serious....